If you wish to make an upcoming birthday a enjoyable and lighthearted celebration then in the present day’s submit will show you how to out.
In it I wish to share 91 of the wittiest and most humorous birthday quotes about youth, growing older and life.
Use one or a few them in a card, in a textual content or a social media submit on for instance Instagram.
Or just use one among them in your birthday speech to your good friend, sister, brother, coworker or whoever you might be celebrating to make them chortle and make their big day much more enjoyable.
Humorous Birthday Quotes for Mates (and Your Greatest Buddy)
“You might be solely younger as soon as, however you may keep immature indefinitely.”
– Ogden Nash
“I consider you forgot my birthday current final yr, so now I’m returning the favor. Comfortable Birthday!”
– Unknown
“Put candles in a cake, it’s a birthday cake. Put candles in a pie, and any person’s drunk within the kitchen.”
– Jim Gaffigan
“You’re not 40, you’re 18 with 22 years expertise.”
– Unknown
“Trying fifty is nice – in case you’re sixty.”
– Joan Rivers
“Inside each older individual is a youthful individual – questioning what the hell occurred.”
– Jennifer Yane
“Life is a reasonably good play with a badly written third act.”
– Truman Capote
“The older you get, the higher you get. Until you’re a banana.”
– Betty White
“The key of staying younger is to dwell truthfully, eat slowly, and lie about your age.”
– Lucille Ball
“Age is strictly a case of thoughts over matter. In case you don’t thoughts, it doesn’t matter.”
– Jack Benny
“Birthdays are nature’s means of telling us to eat extra cake.”
– Unknown
“A good friend by no means defends a husband who will get his spouse an electrical skillet for her birthday.”
– Erma Bombeck
“Age will not be vital except you’re a cheese.”
– Helen Hayes
“I’m at an age when my again goes out greater than I do.”
– Phyllis Diller
“I consider in loyalty. When a lady reaches an age she likes, she ought to keep it up.”
– Eva Gabor
“My grandmother began strolling 5 miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know the place the hell she is.”
– Ellen DeGeneres
“Ultimately you attain some extent if you cease mendacity about your age and begin bragging about it.”
– Will Rogers
“The primary hundred years are the toughest.”
– Wilson Mizner
“When a person has a birthday, he takes a time without work. However when my spouse has a birthday, she takes a yr or two off.”
– Joan Rivers
“From delivery to age 18, a lady wants good dad and mom. From 18 to 35, she wants attractiveness. From 35 to 55, she wants a very good persona. From 55 on, she wants good money.”
– Sophie Tucker
Brief and Humorous Birthday Quotes on Getting Older
“You understand you’re getting outdated when the candles price greater than the cake.”
– Bob Hope
“Age is a matter of thoughts over matter. In case you don’t thoughts, it doesn’t matter.”
– Mark Twain
“You’re in mint situation for a classic mannequin. Comfortable Birthday!”
– Catherine Pulsifer
“Previous age is like every thing else. To make a hit of it, you’ve received to start out younger.”
– Fred Astaire
“Don’t fear about avoiding temptation. As you get older, it can keep away from you.”
– Joey Adams
“A diplomat is a person who at all times remembers a lady’s birthday however by no means remembers her age.”
– Robert Frost
“I’ll by no means be an outdated man. To me, outdated age is at all times 15 years older than I’m.”
– Francis Bacon
“Simply bear in mind, when you’re over the hill you start to choose up velocity.”
– Arthur Schopenhauer
“I used to be introduced as much as respect my elders, so now I don’t need to respect anyone.”
– George Burns
“There’s nonetheless no treatment for the widespread birthday.”
– John Glenn
“You understand you’ve aged if you learn occasions you lived in a historical past guide.”
– Will Ferrell
“Age is a quantity and mine is unlisted.”
– Unknown
“Rising outdated is obligatory; rising up is optionally available.”
– Chili Davis
“You understand you’re getting outdated if you get that one candle on the cake. It’s like, ‘See in case you can blow this out.’”
– Jerry Seinfeld
“Center age is if you nonetheless consider you’ll really feel higher within the morning.”
– Bob Hope
“As you become old, three issues occur. The primary is your reminiscence goes, and I can’t bear in mind the opposite two.”
– Norman Knowledge
“You understand you’re getting outdated when every thing hurts. And what doesn’t damage doesn’t work.”
– Hy Gardner
“You might be solely younger as soon as, however you could be immature for a lifetime.”
– John Grier
“Every thing that goes up should come down. However there comes a time when not every thing that’s down can come up.”
– George Burns
“We don’t develop outdated. After we stop to develop, we develop into outdated.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
Humorous Birthday Quotes for Girls on Getting old Gracefully
“Like many ladies my age, I’m 28 years outdated.”
– Mary Schmich
“Please don’t retouch my wrinkles. It took me so many birthdays to earn them.”
– Anna Magnani
“I don’t want you to remind me of my age. I’ve a bladder to do this for me.”
– Stephen Fry
“All the time be good to your youngsters as a result of they’re those who will select your relaxation house.”
– Phyllis Diller
“I don’t plan to develop outdated gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts till my ears meet.”
– Rita Rudner
“You understand you’ve reached center age if you’re cautioned to decelerate by your physician, as an alternative of by the police.”
– Joan Rivers
“ rule to recollect for all times is that in terms of cosmetic surgery and sushi, by no means be attracted by a cut price.”
– Graham Norton
“Individuals say, ‘The way you keep wanting so younger?’ I say, effectively, good lighting, good docs, and good make-up.”
– Dolly Parton
“My face carries all my reminiscences. Why would I erase them?”
– Diane von Furstenberg
“Getting old appears to be the one obtainable technique to dwell an extended life.”
– Kitty O’Neill Collins
“I’ve received so many wrinkles; I must be sponsored by a prune firm!”
– Unknown
“Wrinkles ought to merely point out the place the grins have been.”
– Mark Twain
“Pay attention. I want I might inform you it will get higher. However, it doesn’t get higher. You get higher.”
– Joan Rivers
“Getting old gracefully means being versatile, being open, permitting change, having fun with change, and loving your self.”
– Wendy Whelan
Humorous Birthday Quotes for Males on the Inevitable Adjustments in Life
“A stockbroker urged me to purchase a inventory that might triple its worth yearly. I advised him, ‘At my age, I don’t even purchase inexperienced bananas.’”
– Claude Pepper
“A person has reached center age when he’s warned to decelerate by his physician as an alternative of the police.”
– Henry Youngman
“After I was a boy the Useless Sea was solely sick.”
– George Burns
“Center age is when your broad thoughts and slim waist start to alter locations.”
– E. Joseph Cossman
“You’re solely as outdated as the girl you’re feeling.”
– Groucho Marx
“Anybody could be assured with a full head of hair. However a assured bald man – there’s your diamond within the tough.”
– Larry David
“In center age, the soul must be opening up like a rose, not closing up like a cabbage.”
– John Andrew Holmes
“Center age is the awkward interval when Father Time begins catching up with Mom Nature.”
– Harold Coffin
“I’m more than happy to be right here. Let’s face it, at my age, I’m more than happy to be anyplace.”
– George Burns
“Center age is if you’re confronted with two temptations and also you select the one that may get you house by 9 o’clock.”
– Ronald Reagan
“I imply, I’m not a child anymore. I might go tomorrow. And I hope I am going tomorrow. I haven’t gone in the present day but.”
– Rodney Dangerfield
“Life’s a brief journey. You’ll discover out.”
– Rodney Dangerfield
“I’ve been in remedy. I do know sufficient about myself now to know that I actually don’t must know anymore.”
– Larry David
“Center age is if you’ve met so many individuals that each new individual you meet reminds you of another person.”
– Ogden Nash
“The one technique to preserve your well being is to eat what you don’t need, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d somewhat not.”
– Mark Twain
“Comfortable Birthday to a [Mom/Dad] who’s good, humorous, and handsome, from a [daughter/son] who inherited all of your finest qualities.”
– Good/Good Baby
“Previous age is if you resent the swimsuit situation of Sports activities Illustrated as a result of there are fewer articles to learn.”
– George Burns
“I’m sixty years of age. That’s 16 Celsius.”
– George Carlin
Humorous Birthday Quotes for Coworkers
“Why is a birthday cake the one meals you may blow on and spit on, and everyone rushes to get a chunk?”
– Bobby Kelton
“Yearly on my birthday, I begin a brand new playlist titled after my present age so I can preserve monitor of my favourite songs of the yr as a kind of musical diary as a result of I’m a teenage woman.”
– Chris Hardwick
“Because of fashionable medical advances akin to antibiotics, nasal spray, and Weight loss plan Coke, it has develop into routine for folks within the civilized world to cross the age of 40, generally greater than as soon as.”
– Dave Barry
“True terror is to get up one morning and uncover that your highschool class is working the nation.”
– Kurt Vonnegut
“The aim of life is to take every thing that made you bizarre as a child and get folks to pay you cash for it if you’re older.”
– David Freeman
“You understand you’re getting outdated when all of the names in your black guide have M.D. after them.”
– Harrison Ford
“We might definitely sluggish the growing older course of down if it needed to work its means by way of Congress.”
– Will Rogers
“At my age, flowers scare me.”
– George Burns
“Combating growing older is just like the Warfare on Medication. It’s costly, does extra hurt than good, and has been confirmed to by no means finish.”
– Amy Poehler
“The growing older course of will not be gradual or light. It rushes up, pushes you over, and runs off laughing.”
– John Mortimer
“I used to be eager about how folks appear to learn the Bible much more as they become old, after which it dawned on me – they’re cramming for his or her remaining examination.”
– George Carlin
“Previous age comes at a foul time.”
– San Banducci
“Don’t let growing older get you down. It’s too laborious to get again up.”
– John Wagner
“Center age is if you’re sitting at house on a Saturday evening and the phone rings, and also you hope it isn’t for you.”
– George Burns
“We don’t cease enjoying as a result of we develop outdated. We develop outdated as a result of we cease enjoying.”
– George Bernard Shaw
“If I’d identified I used to be going to dwell this lengthy, I’d have taken higher care of myself.”
– Eubie Blake
“I’ve too many wrinkles to have this little cash!”
– Cathy Guisewite
“You understand you’re getting outdated if you stoop to tie your shoelaces and surprise what else you are able to do when you’re down there.”
– George Burns
“It’s true, some wine improves with age. However provided that the grapes have been good within the first place.”
– Abigail Van Buren
Need extra inspiration for celebrations arising quickly? Then take a look at these inspirational birthday quotes, the brief birthday quotes on this submit and the inspirational marriage ceremony quotes right here. Plus, this one with brief marriage ceremony quotes.
