Studying is one thing I’ve all the time cherished however over the previous few years, I learn much less and fewer. Between constructing my enterprise and elevating little ones, I struggled to search out the time.
On this episode, I’m sharing how I lately acquired again into the behavior of studying despite the fact that I’m busier than ever. I discuss in regards to the function that perfectionism was taking part in, how I let go of my excuses and created an easy-to-stick-to studying behavior that didn’t contain any drive or strain. This episode is filled with sensible recommendation so be sure you tune in at present.
To dive deeper: Need a simple strategy to discover out if perfectionism is stopping your enterprise from rising? Take The Perfectionism Quiz at present – it’s free, takes lower than 3 minutes and offers you a personalised report that lays out the easy steps you’ll be able to take to get out of your individual method. Take the quiz now at samlaurabrown.com/quiz.
For extra recommendation: Comply with me on Instagram – I’m @perfectionismproject – for extra behind-the-scenes insights and help with getting out of your individual method in your enterprise.
For full help: Able to get out of your individual method in your enterprise? Be a part of the waitlist for my productiveness program – Perfectionists Getting Shit Achieved (aka PGSD) – at samlaurabrown.com/pgsd. Inside PGSD you’ll grasp our easy, confirmed course of for getting shit achieved with out burning out so you’ll be able to lastly get your enterprise off the bottom.
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FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
Introduction
Hello, and welcome to a different episode of The Perfectionism Challenge. A podcast filled with perfectionism recommendation for entrepreneurs. My title is Sam Laura Brown, I assist entrepreneurs launch their perfectionism handbrake, to allow them to get out of their very own method and construct a satisfying and worthwhile enterprise. I’m the founding father of the Perfectionists Getting Shit Achieved group teaching program, which is in any other case generally known as PGSD. And for much more perfectionism recommendation that will help you with your enterprise, you’ll be able to comply with me on Instagram @perfectionismproject.
Sam Laura Brown (Intro to the episode)
I wanna do a fast intro for this episode as a result of this episode wasn’t truly supposed to be an episode. So I posted on Instagram a couple of weeks in the past now; I’m @perfectionism venture, for those who aren’t following me there but. I posted about how I’ve been studying so many extra books and actually simply acquired over quite a lot of the reasons that I had about not having sufficient time as a result of I’ve little children and all of that. And I requested if folks wished to listen to how I made that shift. And so many individuals mentioned sure.
So I used to be simply recording myself, speaking it out to get out of my head what the precise shifts have been. Like, how did I’m going from studying possibly, like, one e book a 12 months, beginning a couple of books, not ending them? Though I really like studying, I wasn’t doing it from a spot of ought to. Like, I really like love love love studying books, and but that wasn’t being mirrored in my actions. And the way did I’m going from that to now repeatedly ending books, with the ability to simply really feel like I can say in good conscience, sure.
I’m truly a reader. I do learn books. So I wished to doc that a lot of it was associated to perfectionism that I had round studying and round time and various things like that. And so I hope it’s actually useful for me to only undergo what these shifts have been. When you have been somebody who desires to be studying extra books, however you don’t wanna do it with the strain of, like, forcing your self to learn or, like, having to learn a sure variety of pages per day or, like, any of these issues, for those who simply wanna even have the need to learn and end up studying despite the fact that you’ve acquired a busy life, this episode is gonna be actually useful for you.
So we’re gonna clear it up a bit as a result of I used to be simply, like, chatting and saying no matter to only try to doc the concepts, however I hope you discover it actually useful.
Sam Laura Brown
So primary is that when it has come to, mainly, the choice to learn once more and to be dedicated to that and shifting out of I’ll do it if I’ve time and going into, like, I’m actively going to make time, and I’m keen to unravel for something that’s despatched in the best way of me having time for studying. I believe a giant a part of it’s simply connecting again to and simply noticing even with, mates and issues like that. Simply generally, I actually have a robust id round being a e book lover and somebody who reads books and loves books, and but I wasn’t truly studying actually in any respect. And it could take me, like, six months to complete a e book if if I even learn one.
So I additionally was having quite a lot of perfectionism come up, which I’ll discuss particularly, nevertheless it was actually simply the need to do one thing that simply felt like me, and studying simply all the time feels very very similar to me it doesn’t matter what I’m studying. Usually, private growth or fiction or no matter, I really feel extra linked with myself. I really feel very energized and, like, recharged by studying, and I simply actually have all the time loved studying books. So it began with that need. It wasn’t from a spot of ought to or, like, folks in like, with profitable companies learn this quantity per day or something like that.
Not that there’s something flawed with that, however for me, like, I’m not there’s something flawed with, like, introducing your self to studying if it’s one thing you’ve by no means achieved however you wanna do extra of for no matter purpose. However for me, the rationale was simply, like, having time doing one thing that felt like me and simply noticing even studying fifteen minutes a day had a dramatic affect on how linked with myself that I felt. Like, it simply felt like actually honoring one thing that was essential to me and prioritizing myself, and it didn’t must take a lot time to do this for me to really feel that method. So I simply actually, like, recommitted to studying books and never simply beginning them and possibly ending them, however, like, I’m gonna begin studying. From that time, I then checked out actually diving into, like, what’s standing in the best way of me studying And the place am I getting caught with studying?
Clearly, when you’ve got the generic, like, I don’t have sufficient time, that’s frequent to have. However, actually, it’s simply that I wasn’t making time, and I wasn’t making time due to a couple of sure issues. One is that I hadn’t actually accessed the resourcefulness or permission to learn at sure instances. So I used to be sort of simply telling myself, I can solely learn my e book when the youngsters are napping or when Steve’s at work, and it’s not time for me and Steve to hang around, and it’s not time for me and the youngsters. However, additionally, one thing I observed was that I really need my children to know me, and despite the fact that they’re nonetheless fairly little in the intervening time, that I would like them to see me doing issues I take pleasure in doing and never suppose that my hobbies are taking part in magnet tiles with them or pushing them on the swing.
Like, I additionally produce other issues I take pleasure in doing, they usually love studying, and I wanna, like, foster a love for studying in them. However, additionally, I simply need them to know me and to see what I take pleasure in doing and that I take pleasure in doing a number of completely different sorts of issues. So I wanted to mainly, like, redefine after I was allowed to learn and what that would appear like. So as a substitute of simply solely with the ability to learn throughout nap time, after which that was the one time I additionally had in my head to have the ability to train and to have the ability to do sure different issues, it simply felt a lot tougher. However after I was like, truly, I can learn whereas they’re away, I can learn, like, in the event that they’re taking part in one thing, and now they’re at an age the place they’ll play collectively.
I’ve a nearly 4 12 months previous and a twin two 12 months olds and a child different method. They will play collectively a bit extra as properly. So it’s simply updating, like, truly, I’m in a distinct season now with completely different circumstances, and my mind was sort of pondering I nonetheless have basically, like, very small twins and a toddler, however I don’t anymore. So there’s that. Typically our mind simply doesn’t acknowledge we’re not in the identical circumstances that we as soon as have been in.
And it’s not that this wouldn’t have utilized then, however I believe there’s additionally simply energy in acknowledging that, circumstantially, I’m in a distinct scenario. So the story I’ve that I don’t have time for studying isn’t even when it was ever true, it’s not as true because it was circumstantially. So there was that too, however simply being like, I can truly learn whereas the youngsters are taking part in. I can learn like, as a substitute of me hanging out with Zeep, I can learn. I can learn.
So we often watch two episodes of Bluey earlier than mattress. I can learn whereas they’re watching Bluey. I don’t want to sit down there and watch the identical episodes of Bluey I’ve already seen. And I can if I would like, however I may have that, like, fifteen minutes to only learn on the sofa subsequent to them. In order that’s already simply by studying as a substitute of watching with them, that’s already, like, over an hour of studying each week and only a set off for me as properly that when it’s time, that’s after I’m studying.
So these issues actually helped simply opening up after I was allowed to learn, getting out of the mindset that I would like to have the ability to learn a giant chunk of the e book, like, I would like the total hour. And, additionally, like, the extra open you’re to seeing you don’t want that a lot time, for those who truly report your self studying for an hour, like, that’s a really important chunk of studying time. So what I are likely to do is a pair issues that assist with this. One is that if I can swing it and whether or not that’s if I get up early quite than, like, fluffing round the home, I’ll learn my e book or various things like that. Like, there are pockets the place I’ve a extra important time to learn if I’m ready for Steve to get dwelling from work, however the children are already in mattress, stuff like that, and simply being conscious.
I’m not gonna be scrolling or doing that, beginning to have the behavior of I’m gonna go to my e book. However having an even bigger chunk of time or, like, getting by the primary fifty or so pages as rapidly as doable is admittedly useful. If I’m not get right into a e book, like, I haven’t I’m nonetheless attempting to determine what the premise is, who the characters are, notably primarily studying fiction. So if I haven’t gotten, like, invested within the story, then it simply requires extra effort to go and decide up the e book. So I prefer to try to get by the primary fifty pages as rapidly as I can and actually take into consideration that fifty pages in a different way to the remainder of the e book.
And much like the tip of the e book, I acquired this from Cal Newport. He had a couple of nice YouTube movies about how you can learn extra and the way he reads 5 books per 30 days and simply, like, how he thinks about studying. And one factor he mentioned was, like, having a little bit while you’re near ending the e book, doing a ultimate push to get it achieved sort of quite than, like, chipping away on the finish. So for those who can, do an even bigger studying session to get it accomplished and see it over the ending line. And this isn’t like you must consider it this fashion perpetually, however simply, like, when you’re creating the habits.
However I discovered that actually useful to have that preliminary dive in after which additionally having a push on the finish of the e book to, simply maintain that momentum going as properly. So there’s that. The opposite factor is that to actually simply get again into studying, I let go of any, like, that is what you need to learn or, like, suggestions for books that I believe I’ll discover attention-grabbing, however I don’t truly really feel notably into studying. Then I kinda simply let go of that. I used to be like, I’m simply gonna learn no matter I really feel like.
And if that’s, like, tremendous simple mild books to learn, I’m gonna let myself learn that. I don’t need to learn something too deep or, like, that requires a number of psychological vitality, particularly getting again into the behavior. I don’t wanna have books that require quite a lot of psychological vitality as a result of generally, like, I do must have a e book. And I discovered truly having a few books on the go may be actually useful as a result of generally I’m actually having fun with the e book, however, truly, I don’t I’m simply not within the temper for that sort of e book. So, for instance, I used to be studying The Nightingale by Kristen Hannah, and I actually did take pleasure in, if that’s the appropriate phrase for that sort of e book, loved that e book.
However as a result of it’s such a heavy e book with the context of struggle and issues like that, that if I’d had a a very lengthy day with the youngsters or no matter, I simply didn’t really feel like studying a a like, an emotionally heavy e book. I wished one thing extra, like, mild and enjoyable to learn and, like, extra of an escape, so to talk. So I ended studying that e book and picked it up about six months later and completed it, however I believe simply having a, like, a lighter e book and a heavier e book, it doesn’t need to be, like, a fiction and a nonfiction, however, like, one thing that’s simple to learn after which one thing that’s a bit, that you just nonetheless have the need. It’s not from this place of, like, ought to or no matter, nevertheless it might be a bit extra advanced or intricate or emotionally taxing that I simply discover that having a few books on the go is admittedly useful to have the ability to learn after I wish to learn, however not be pressured to learn one thing I’m actually not within the temper for. So there’s that.
I additionally simply invested a while into truly, like, getting, like, determining what I wish to learn as a result of I discovered, like, after I had if I had time to learn, I wouldn’t as a result of I simply didn’t even know what I wished to learn as a result of I’d gotten so many alternative books. I had so many alternative suggestions, and I kinda felt like as properly the much less I learn, the extra strain I felt to really learn one thing that was undoubtedly gonna be good, which is a perfectionist factor for certain. So what I did as a substitute, I simply was like, I’m going to restart my Goodreads and, like, truly monitoring what I’m studying, and so I do know precisely what I’m studying and what I’m not studying. I had been utilizing Goodreads, however I had so many like, any e book basically that I’d began, I had put below studying. After which I discovered that I had, like, eight books that I used to be studying.
That’s too many to be clear about what I’m truly studying. And, additionally, quite a lot of these books are like, I don’t even suppose I wanna end that e book. I there’s some perfectionist actually definitely, like, if as soon as they began, they really feel like they’ve to complete it, they usually received’t enable themselves to do the rest, however I’ve not been in that perfectionist thought sample. In relation to studying, I’m actually keen to only cease studying a e book, even when there’s 50 pages left. If it’s shit, I’m simply not gonna end it.
And that’s I name that full. I don’t really feel any, like, unhealthy emotions about it. I’ll say on the 50 web page to go mark, I, like, wouldn’t often make it to that time until it’s an honest e book, however I’m simply keen to be like, okay. That e book’s not for me or not for proper now, and I’m simply gonna name it full. So I went into Goodreads, and I truly simply, like something that was half like, I’d began, however I actually didn’t even have the intention to complete.
I simply put again into, like, wish to learn, and I simply left in my studying class. Like, I believe it was simply, like, one or two books I used to be truly dedicated to ending. So a part of that was, once more, letting go, like, oh, however I ought to end it as a result of I began it. I technically am studying it or no matter. Identical to, truly, what am I gonna what am I dedicated to ending if it’s good?
I simply let that be the brand new, like, having one or two books in my at present studying, or if I’ve three, there is likely to be a lighter e book, a heavier e book, after which an audiobook as properly. So I had been telling myself a narrative that I didn’t like listening to fiction books on, like, the audiobooks as a result of it, like, I discovered that if I simply zoned out and since if I’m listening whereas I’m, like, driving or no matter, one thing such as you hear one thing, your mind simply wanders, and then you definately’re like, I don’t even know who I don’t even know what’s taking place on this e book anymore. And I listened to Harry Potter on audiobook. Superb. However, mainly, the rest, I simply began telling myself this story that I can’t do fiction audiobooks.
And I’ve a e book membership with a couple of mates, and we have been speaking about I used to be like, I’m truly simply gonna, like, problem my thought of that as a result of it’s feeling actually restrictive, and I would really like to have the ability to learn not simply nonfiction on audiobooks, however fiction too. And so I learn a e book, Society of Lies, after which I learn what else was it? Challenge Hail Mary, I learn with the audiobook. And after I modified my ideas, like, truly, I I take pleasure in studying fiction on an audiobook, I loved it. I might sustain.
Like, I didn’t select something loopy heavy, to learn or, like, requiring a number of focus. And that was actually nice too, simply having one other choice to learn, and I let that depend as a e book. In order that’s the opposite factor is that me perfectionist may be like, properly, we’ve these guidelines, and if it doesn’t meet the foundations, it doesn’t depend. After which simply, like, discredit ourselves or maintain us other than the actions and id that we wanna have simply due to some made up rule. Like, an audiobook doesn’t depend.
It needs to be, like, a bodily e book that I learn for it to depend. I’m not like there’s no e book police that I’m attempting to appease. Like, I simply truly wanna learn and have like, I really like the lengthy type of tales. And so I don’t see why I believe it depend or not depend. So I tracked them this in Goodreads the identical as I do a bodily e book as properly.
And I like studying a mixture as a result of there’s quite a lot of instances I really like simply having a bodily e book. No. It’s, like, so low stimulus in comparison with screens and issues like that. I simply sit on the entrance deck tremendous good, doing that. And different instances, like, whereas I’m driving, as a substitute of, like, listening to podcasts solely, it’s like, I truly wanna hearken to a e book, and I try this.
So there’s that. Principally, the theme of that is simply, like, opening up all the foundations that I had about what it ought to be like. So there’s that additionally simply, like, having the e book simply accessible. So, like, leaving it on the kitchen island or simply, like, out in plain sight was actually useful too simply so I had that further immediate to learn it. And, additionally and this isn’t, like, a revolutionary concept, nevertheless it was useful to listen to.
Cal Newport, once more, was the one who beneficial this, however he simply mentioned about, like, having your individual little ritual or, like, making studying as pleasing as doable. And so simply sitting out on my entrance deck and simply having a cup of tea or no matter or some music if I wish to, however we’ve a very lovely, like, outlook from our entrance deck that we stay on acreage with a number of timber. It mainly is sort of a treehouse while you’re on our entrance deck, and we’ve this actually excessive vary ceiling, and it’s simply, like, I really feel surrounded by nature after I’m there. So doing that as properly and simply, like, having little locations that I like studying, it’s primarily there or simply upon, like, wherever works if I’m taking care of the youngsters on the similar time. And I’m nonetheless clearly, I’m not, like, deep in studying if I’m additionally supervising them, taking part in in our pattern or issues like that.
However I can learn sufficient, and, yeah, I simply have allowed myself to do this and simply seeing how as properly the extra I’ve achieved that, the extra into studying they’ve been. Or like, mommy, right here’s your e book and issues like that, that it simply has been very nice to to see and to, like, enable myself to have hobbies and different issues I like doing whereas taking care of the youngsters and never, like, compartmentalizing. There’s issues I do after I’m with the youngsters, which is all about them. After which in my private time, so to talk, once they’re asleep or they’re fully occupied or no matter, then I can do different issues. It’s similar to, truly, I’d love them to know me, and I’d love them to see me doing that and to additionally encourage them to do this if they need or, like, ask me about what I’m feeding and issues like that.
In order that has been actually useful. And, yeah, I believe they’re the principle issues. Principally, I don’t have any set guidelines round, like, minimums. I don’t have like, it needs to be ten minutes a day or it needs to be fifteen minute 15 pages or one thing like that. And up to now, I discovered that sort of factor may be useful at instances.
And I do know that simply, like, for those who learn a 300 web page e book, for instance, 10 pages a day is one e book per 30 days. However what I wished to do is simply, like, let myself be in a rhythm with it, not have any strict expectations of, like, I’ve gotta end a e book each week or issues like that, however truly having a similar to, I’m a reader, and which means I learn books. And I simply wanna circle again to one thing else that I mentioned earlier, which is about taking time to arrange Goodreads. So what I did after I did that, there’s quite a lot of e book YouTubers. I don’t actually comply with anybody within the e book YouTube area, however I used to be like, I’m simply feeling caught.
So that is all, like, noticing the place the stuckness is and fixing it. And to me, that was ache with perfectionist ideas I used to unravel for and some sensible issues. And considered one of them was, like, I don’t truly know what I wanna learn or if I even did end this e book, what I’d learn subsequent, and I really feel prefer it’s kinda how I really feel with reveals, so I might apply this there with TV reveals that I’m going into this, like, e book limbo anytime I end a e book. So it’s basically like I’m punished for ending a e book as a result of I’ve to return into this e book limbo and be like, what do I wanna learn? So I simply went on YouTube and in addition listened to a couple completely different movies from folks about how they learn stuff like that.
Additionally, like, folks’s suggestions for particular books, and I simply acquired, like, sufficient suggestions that I might begin someplace after which go along with it additionally. And if I like an writer, I simply learn extra of their books. So I’ve learn three Sally Hepworth books. I learn, as I mentioned, The Nightingale by Kristen Hannah. Now I’m studying The Ladies, which I truly acquired as a present possibly two years in the past now, however simply hadn’t learn.
So issues like that. And, additionally, last item I’ll say is that I’ve began going to the library once more, not only for the youngsters as a result of we’re going for the youngsters, but in addition for myself, and simply placing books on maintain, going and selecting them up, studying them. And never as a result of there’s a timeframe as a result of my library, it’s thirty days. It’s important to borrow it. And until it’s tremendous fashionable, it simply auto renews after that.
So you continue to have, like, a superb two months to learn it. So it’s not like several time strain or issues like that. However after I wasn’t studying a lot, it didn’t make sense to borrow a e book as a result of it could take me six months to complete. And, additionally, it was positive to purchase one new e book a 12 months for the for which is $15. However after I was like, I’m truly wanting to actually be a prolific reader, like, have studying actually be one thing that I’m repeatedly doing once more, it was like, properly, I don’t wish to purchase, like, spend, I don’t know, like, 50 to 100 {dollars} per per 30 days on fiction books.
I do desire to purchase the nonfiction books. I’ve achieved an episode method again, however my system’s nonetheless very related. For after I learn a nonfiction e book, like, highlighting it and tapping it primarily to only maintain me engaged. I don’t write e book opinions of issues. I don’t, like, try to seize each perception.
I simply love, like, being engaged with a nonfiction e book in a sure method, and I nonetheless try this with nonfiction, so I’ll have a tendency to purchase nonfiction. However for fiction, I typically find yourself simply giving it to mates anyway who’re readers. Like, I actually like this, after which I don’t generally it comes again to me. Typically it doesn’t. I don’t actually care as a result of I’m unlikely to learn a fiction e book twice until it was an absolute standout.
However now that I’m studying much more, it simply doesn’t make sense to me to, like, accumulate that many books when it’s fiction. Nonfiction, I’m more likely to reread. And as I mentioned, I additionally, like, highlighted all of that, which you’ll’t do with a library e book with a superb conscience. So I simply, like, rein basically, like, reinstated my in my head, my like, that I’m going to the library. Like, I’ll go after I’m there with the youngsters, I’ll go round and, like, browse, and that sounds leisurely.
It’s like a 3 minute whip round whereas whereas they’re contained whereas this meals was nonetheless keen to sit down within the prance, which they’re nearly almost grown out of fully. However I’ll go take a look, and, like, I’ll look on Goodreads and simply see, like, what’s the vibe of this e book ideally above 4 stars. After which I’ll be like, cool. That’s adequate, and I’ll learn that. So there’s that as properly.
And simply, like, easy issues like this could truly be such a giant blow up, however, like, I didn’t know how you can log in to my account and put a e book on maintain. Though it’s very fundamental, I simply, like, hadn’t achieved that in, weeks a decade. So similar to, okay. I’m gonna click on round and, like, familiarize myself with how to do this in order that I do know that if I see a e book and I wanna learn it, nevertheless it’s not accessible immediately, I can truly put it on maintain. So simply sensible issues, however primarily mindset perfectionist stuff that simply had me feeling like like making it so exhausting to do one thing that’s truly quite simple.
And I simply wanna wrap up by saying you probably have time to scroll, you’ve got time to learn. And, additionally, that is solely about, like, whether it is one thing you truly wanna do. I don’t suppose everybody must learn. Don’t learn for those who don’t wish to. However for those who’re somebody like me who desires to, for those who really feel linked with your self, for no matter purpose while you learn, it’s price prioritizing, particularly for those who’re in a season the place you’ve got competing priorities.
It’s price prioritizing, and that can imply letting go of tales you’ve got and simply actually gaining self consciousness round what’s stopping you from studying, like, the particular issues, not only a basic, I don’t have sufficient time, however why particularly. And for those who did have an entire day to learn, would you truly even be capable of try this, or would you get caught or waste that point or find yourself doing one thing else since you simply don’t have readability on what you’re studying or the place you’re gonna get it from, all these sure issues? So, yeah, I hope that may be very useful.
Outro
When you take pleasure in this podcast, I like to recommend signing up for the waitlist for my program known as Perfectionists Getting Shit Achieved (aka PGSD). It is a program designed that will help you get out of your individual method in your enterprise. You’re gonna discover ways to launch your perfectionism handbrake by setting a progress aim for your enterprise, planning correctly as a perfectionist with Energy Planning and getting common guilt-free clear relaxation. You’ll study the abilities required to get out of your individual method and be supported each step of the best way to do it.
Whereas the doorways to PGSD are at present closed, they are going to be opening once more quickly. So to search out out extra about this system and be a part of the waitlist at present, go to samlaurabrown.com/pgsd.
