It’s tempting to have a look at others in our business to see if we’re doing issues the correct method, particularly when others are extra profitable than us. We’d have a look at what others are doing to resolve what we plan to do in our enterprise.
There are occasions when following others’ recommendation is smart, but there are additionally occasions when following our personal instinct is best. On this episode, I need to discuss to you about when to do issues your individual method, why it’s secure to take action and the way to productively evaluate your self to others in your business. Tune in immediately!
Discover the complete episode transcript and present notes at samlaurabrown.com/episode519.
What To Do Subsequent
In case you’re able to get out of your individual method in your enterprise, you need to be part of my productiveness program for perfectionists who’re constructing companies known as Perfectionists Getting Shit Achieved. Click on right here to search out out extra about this system and be part of the waitlist immediately: samlaurabrown.com/pgsd.
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FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
Introduction
Hello, and welcome to a different episode of The Perfectionism Venture. A podcast stuffed with perfectionism recommendation for entrepreneurs. My title is Sam Laura Brown, I assist entrepreneurs launch their perfectionism handbrake, to allow them to get out of their very own method and construct a satisfying and worthwhile enterprise. I’m the founding father of the perfectionist getting shit completed group teaching program, which is in any other case referred to as PGSD. And for much more perfectionism recommendation that can assist you with your enterprise, you’ll be able to observe me on Instagram @perfectionismproject.
Sam Laura Brown (Intro to the episode)
Okay. One other episode for you this week. And what I’ve been doing goes by the podcast, all of our 500+ episodes and hand-selecting ones that I feel are important so that you can take heed to as a perfectionist, who’s attempting to construct a enterprise, particularly in case you’re within the stage proper now the place you’re fighting productiveness.
So this episode is essential and I extremely encourage you to pay attention the entire method by. I wished to re launch it as a result of it has helped so many individuals and meaning there’s an excellent likelihood that it’ll assist you to too.
And in case you occur to take heed to it on the time that it initially got here out, that I feel it will be a good time now to take heed to it once more, as a result of you can be at a distinct place fascinated about various things and it is possible for you to to take a lot from it. In order that’s why I’m sharing it with you. And I hope you benefit from the episode.
Sam Laura Brown
On this episode, I need to discuss to you about the way to belief that you’re constructing your enterprise the correct method. And I say the correct method, as a result of that’s how we have a tendency to consider it. However from the get go, I simply need to point out there isn’t any proper or fallacious method. And we are able to get so caught and paralyzed. And in our heads after we are considering, there’s a proper method and a fallacious method. And if we do it, the correct method will probably be profitable.
If we do it the fallacious method, will probably be unsuccessful, it’s simply black and white all or nothing considering, as a substitute of actually recognizing that there are such a lot of methods to get to your objectives. And so some ways for your enterprise to work, there are such a lot of variations that might achieve success of your enterprise mannequin. There are such a lot of totally different platforms that you may select to be on and you may select to not be on.
So for instance, you may select to be on Instagram and never on TikTok or you may select to have a podcast and never have a YouTube channel. Or you may select to simply do the whole lot through electronic mail, or you may select simply to do the whole lot in particular person. There’s no like proper place to be, there’s no proper provide that you could have on your purchasers or your clients. There’s no proper pricing, proper Instagram, social media technique, and actually studying the way to belief ourselves and belief our future self, and never even our future self, that they’ve the solutions.
And that is one thing that I used to be actually fascinated about the opposite day after I was doing a little self teaching by the lens of getting a dialog with my future self, that I used to be being actually aware. And I hadn’t even considered this earlier than. And I simply wished to say this from the highest is that in terms of belief in our future self, what’s the strongest factor to do is have our future self be the coach, because it had been within the sense {that a} coach doesn’t offer you solutions, they assist you to come to your individual solutions.
And so if we consider our future self, as being our coach, and that if you’re doing a q&a, for instance, along with your future self, so along with your journal, you ask a query to your future self, then you definately enter it and shuttle till you get the readability and conclusion you could and as a substitute of getting your future self let you know what to do. You could have your future self ask you questions, in order that your current day self can let you know what to do after I was doing that in my journaling the opposite day myself teaching, it was so totally different. And I simply wished to share that right here. So anyway, this entire episode, we’re simply going to be chatting about the way to belief that you’re constructing your enterprise the correct method.
And I need to say that is one thing that comes up particularly if you’re tending to check your self with or have a look at different companies in your business, what they’re doing, how they’re advertising, how they’re pricing, what their product is like, or their companies like what the house owners or entrepreneurs or whoever is spending their time doing. And people sorts of issues to attempt to work out what we ought to be doing, or how we ought to be pricing or how we ought to be displaying up on social media in case you had been doing that. And notably in case you’re companies which might be making extra money than you. And so that you’re sort of placing them up on a pedestal and considering they know higher as a result of they’re extra profitable than I’m.
In thereby, I must guarantee that I’m doing it the identical method they’re doing it. And we’ve this mind-set that they’re profitable due to, so an instance can be due to the sorts of photographs they put up on Instagram and the best way that they’ve a sure sort of caption whether or not or what number of occasions they put up or what time of day they put up or what number of tales they do, or all these little issues that we expect that’s the reason that they’re profitable, when it’s truly not the rationale they’re profitable.
So we’re very misguided, and are getting it misinformation in a way after we draw the conclusion that they’re profitable due to that, as a substitute of recognizing that they’re profitable, due to the ideas that they’re having. And in case you had related ideas to them, they may be useful for you they may not be and people related ideas would possibly truly lead you to totally different conclusions, and a distinct advertising technique or totally different pricing or a distinct product.
And I wished to speak about this as a result of I’ve witnessed this with our PGSDers. I’ve witnessed it in my very own journey the place I’ve actually been considering like there’s a proper method and a fallacious method and I need to be sure that I’m doing the correct method and I’ve observed how particularly during the last couple of years, possibly particularly during the last yr, I’ve much less and fewer been on this place of like there’s a proper strategy to do it and a fallacious method and simply actually settling into I truly do know, like what I’m doing. And it’s you would possibly suppose, in fact you suppose that since you do know what you’re doing, however I’ve had that thought obtainable to me for a very long time.
And I’ve chosen to not suppose it and I’ve chosen that different individuals would know higher. I’ve additionally seen within the mastermind that I’m in. I’ve seen individuals in there. And it’s simply an instance of like, it’s a lot extra apparent when others are doing it which you could see like, Oh, sure, I’ve completed that too. However I’m to a point nonetheless doing it to that, within the mastermind. I’m seeing individuals in that mastermind who’re very centered on doing issues the correct method. And in a method that Stacey, who’s a pacesetter would approve of and having to do it the identical method that she does it, which isn’t what she teaches.
She doesn’t educate it that you must do it precisely the best way she’s doing it. She’s instructing away considering the identical method that in PGSD, I’m instructing a mind-set, as a result of that every one teaching is, and after we are very centered on being proper or fallacious, we regularly find yourself spending a lot time spinning our wheels, that is when as properly, they could be a lot of procrasti-learning happening and leaping from one factor to the subsequent to the subsequent factor to when we’ve all of the tabs open in our browser.
And also you may be everybody else’s gross sales pages and attempting to determine, okay, what’s the correct strategy to do it, and pricing, wedding ceremony, all of that sort of factor. Or individuals’s Instagram and seeing how typically they’re posting and all various things. And utilizing emojis the identical method they use emojis, or the identical name to motion, or all these various things that we’re considering that the best way that we’re displaying up or that different individuals are displaying up is what creates the outcomes when it’s not.
And we’re additionally devaluing the truth that we do like what we’ve realized, that doesn’t imply we don’t have issues to be taught, and that there isn’t room for enchancment, however we do know sufficient, and that it’s secure to belief ourselves. And it’s secure to attract a conclusion that’s totally different to or have a enterprise mannequin or a technique that’s totally different to somebody who’s making extra money in the identical business, to have a distinct enterprise mannequin or technique to your coach to have a distinct method of doing issues to different individuals that you just admire.
Or an professional who has, you recognize, been doing one thing for thus a few years, that you’d have a distinct conclusion on what the easiest way is for you. And being keen to honor that and worth that. And to have the ability to have these conversations with your self. So you’ll be able to actually inform and discern, when your development is to do issues in a method that doesn’t really feel snug with you. And to teach your self on that. And get out of your individual method with that. And if you’re development is to truly do it in a method that does really feel good to you.
And be keen to present your self that permission, even when an professional may not agree or like imagining that they wouldn’t agree and even when your coach is doing it a distinct method, or the individuals you look as much as or who’re making extra money and doing it a distinct method that pay to do this. And it’s actually like recognizing that there are such a lot of recipes for the way we are able to create a profitable enterprise. And that by the character of a being a recipe that it’s going to must be put up in a transparent method with it been step-by-step.
So I talked about this a bit on the finish of the episode I did on the way to say no, after you’ve already mentioned sure. However for instance, with baking some blueberry muffins, that if it was like, Okay, you should use a cup of flour. Or if you wish to, you may use two cups, or possibly you may use half a cup like all of them work and up to now given all these choices, after which possibly you may use 100 grams of butter or 150 or like and so they’ve been all these thousands and thousands of combos inside this recipe, it will be so overwhelming that we’d by no means find yourself with the blueberry muffins.
But when it’s right here, you want a cup of flour, you want 125 grams of butter, you want a punnett of blueberries and no matter. It’s not that it’s the correct method, the one method however it’s a method and by it being laid out clearly, we are able to observe that. And so it’s so essential if you end up following another person’s course of for issues. And as we do anytime we’re studying one thing from another person, that we acknowledge that it’s not the one strategy to do it. And that that’s a method that works.
And there are different variations of that that work too. And it’s okay for us to decide on one other variation of that, once more acquired to be unto ourselves after we try to enter a distinct variation simply as a strategy to simply keep away from discomfort and we’re sort of self sabotaging, it’s completely regular to do this, don’t beat your self up in case you’re doing that. However to know there are occasions the place it undoubtedly is smart to deviate from what you see others round you doing and to essentially be true to your self.
And even initially, if you’re nonetheless figuring that out, to know that you just do have knowledge and information and steerage which you could give your self round it. And that as you make choices and take a look at them, doesn’t imply simply because you will have like instinct or information round it that you just’re going to make, you recognize, all of your decisions are going to work within the sense that they’re going to have the end result that you just wished or predicted that they might. However I feel the easiest way to calibrate and recalibrate our enterprise sense and information and instinct.
And all of that’s to have like be taught from others, sure, but additionally having it by the filter of like our future self, and our self picture and our development purpose and our massive image imaginative and prescient for the enterprise that we’ve. After which if there are tweaks and variations to that, to have them after which take a look at it do an analysis. And that is the place in PGSD if you’re doing all your development purpose, energy planning, all of that sort of factor, we’ve the weekly evaluations, then the quarterly and annual evaluate in addition to one that you’re reflecting as a result of it’s essential that you just try this. As a result of a number of occasions we similar to I simply have a sense that’s not working, I must do one thing totally different.
After which we deviate from one thing that was working, simply because we hadn’t truly evaluated it in an goal method. Or simply as a result of we hadn’t given it sufficient time that we had been in a rush. And there are different issues happening there. So we need to be fascinated about if you end up constructing your enterprise, trusting your self to construct it the correct method. And that it’s secure to belief your self that particularly if you end up doing weekly evaluations, your quarterly evaluate your annual evaluate, you aren’t going to steer your self astray.
And after we place all this belief and everybody else over ourselves, then we’re not capable of then be capable of again ourselves after we are in conditions the place we must be resourceful or the place we have to overcome resistance so as to observe by with one thing that’s in our greatest curiosity, although it’s uncomfortable. We weren’t having that self belief, we’re not capable of observe by with our plans on a weekly foundation, we’re not capable of truly try issues which may fail as a result of we are able to’t belief ourselves that we are going to be okay on the opposite aspect of any emotion, any painful emotion that we’d must really feel.
So after we are different individuals’s companies, as a result of I feel we’ve this tendency as people to check. And I feel that’s very primitive, being that we do within the sense that like, primitive, primal, like, it’s one thing that we’re at all times fascinated about subconsciously is will we slot in with the group? Are we belonging? Are we lovable, all of these sure issues? And so to simply know that we’re like, individuals say, properly, don’t evaluate your self to others.
What if we thought, okay, properly, I’m in all probability going to check myself to others, possibly I received’t. And I feel if we cease telling ourselves, such as you shouldn’t evaluate ourselves, or evaluate your self to different individuals, we’re going to be much less more likely to truly do it after we stopped making this factor we’re not allowed to do, however to simply acknowledge, like, Hey, we’re human, we’re going to be doing that. However let’s take into consideration the way to truly evaluate ourselves.
To our mentors, our coaches, others within the business, particularly others within the business, who’re making extra money, how we are able to evaluate ourselves in a productive method. And what we need to take away from what different individuals are doing and what we are able to see they’re doing. So if we’re simply their motion, so for instance, with Instagram, like I had talked about that in case you’re considering, you recognize, the variety of occasions a put up per week, and the sorts of pictures that you just use, and the sorts of captions they write, say, they could write a protracted caption, they could put up a photograph of themselves, an expert picture of themselves.
They could put up on tales like 5 occasions a day, and share sure stuff you may be considering that’s why they’re profitable. When actually, it’s the best way they’re fascinated about themselves, their provide their clients, their followers, their time. That’s what’s creating the outcome. And so you’ll be able to have a look at that introduce, what should they be considering for them to resolve that that was a good suggestion. And to additionally it’s so attention-grabbing to you even acknowledge that they could truly be making the cash they’re making regardless of their Instagram technique, not due to it.
And we expect like, it’s this all or nothing considering in the event that they’re profitable and so they’re earning profits, then the whole lot they’re doing of their enterprise is correct when the fact is that there will probably be issues of their enterprise which might be doing the heavy lifting for them. They usually’re making them that cash coming from the ideas, they’re having the prime quality ideas, then there are issues that they’re doing, which might be truly not working, it’s a combination, it’s at all times a combination, as a result of anybody in enterprise is at all times experimenting with issues.
So it’s at all times going to be a combination. So there are some issues that aren’t working. They usually’re getting their outcomes, regardless of that factor, not working, which is nice information to know that we might be tremendous profitable and have a very massive influence with our enterprise with out the whole lot needing to work. But when we have a look at it and suppose, properly, I’ve to repeat or should do the identical as them for each single space as a result of it should be working, you may be truly following an Instagram technique that doesn’t even work for them, not to mention you.
Due to that every one on our theme, had been you fascinated about it. So as a substitute, we need to replicate on how they should be considering. And for instance, if you’re listening to say, for instance, somebody speaking about Instagram technique, as a result of I’ve been utilizing that as the instance, if you’re listening to somebody speaking about that, as a substitute of specializing in what they are saying are the methods and ways and issues to establish the best way that they’re fascinated about themselves.
And their provide their clients, their followers, their time and that aspect of issues, greater than what they’re saying by way of primarily based on that his technique that they created. So for instance, in case you had been to observe the identical technique, have them say that their technique is efficient for them in terms of Instagram. However you don’t imagine that what you do is definitely useful for individuals. And also you say you don’t imagine you will have an actual enterprise, you’ll be able to observe precisely the identical technique, and it’s not going to work. Or you’ll be able to observe it and it’ll work.
Regardless of once more, we don’t must have excellent ideas so as to have our enterprise be what we would like it to be in to attain our development objectives. However we need to be how they should be considering. And so a couple of examples of this, I simply need to share like experiences I’ve observed the place I will probably be fascinated about one thing in an identical method, after which come to a totally totally different conclusion. And the primary time I actually began to note this was as a college scholar, one among my actually pricey buddies, we had been unimaginable examine buddies collectively. And particularly with all our on the regulation aspect, as a result of she didn’t do commerce as properly.
So we did our regulation topics collectively. And we might at all times discuss, you recognize, for the assignments, what we’re going to do like what sort of strategy we’d take, and we might brainstorm concepts and issues collectively. After which after we had been finding out, we’d additionally do the identical. And it was so fascinating to me that we’d have a dialog. So we’d have like an hour brainstorming session. And we might work out, Okay, I feel that is what the professor means with this subject. And we sort of discuss these things and that stuff and no matter, then we’d go away, and we might write the task, and we’ll come again.
And they’d be fully totally different, like fully totally different, although we had been fascinated about it in an identical method that after we’re fascinated about it in that method, by our personal information and filters and the best way we take into consideration the world and the matters and all that, that we’d create a distinct final result. The identical I feel is absolutely true with me and my buddy, Jen, who I’ve talked about on the podcast, one among my enterprise buddies who I am keen on a lot. And we’ve the very best brainstorming tremendous considering periods collectively. So we discuss all types of issues. And it’s scary.
And hilarious how typically we’re on precisely the identical web page about issues. And it was humorous the opposite day message I used to be like you could come on the podcast so we are able to chat about simplifying and decluttering your enterprise and like only a subject that I feel we’d each love to speak about collectively and be tremendous, tremendous useful to have it right here on the podcast. And I hadn’t met we hadn’t talked for possibly like a month earlier than that. And she or he was like I simply had the thought 4 hours in the past as a result of so I had emailed her about that subject that I ought to go on.
Ship this podcast and discuss that. And that day that I had message out, like proper off the bat after we hadn’t spoken in so lengthy and so many issues like, Hey, do you occur to know your human designs, like I used to be that immediately. So anyway, we’re very a lot on the identical web page. And take into consideration issues, comparatively talking in a really related method. And but, we’ve made such totally different choices by way of our enterprise fashions. And by way of the place we spend our time and various things like that.
And it simply jogs my memory at any time when that occurs, that it’s actually essential to give attention to the considering as a substitute of specializing in the actions after we are evaluating ourselves to others to essentially concentrate or to decide on. However if you’re listening to them discuss, you’ll hear their beliefs all all through what they’re saying and likewise what they aren’t saying. And to consider, okay, what beliefs would possibly they’ve, underpinning these choices, that may very well be useful to me, after which adopting anybody do you suppose may be useful and leaving the remainder, after which that being it to not then go, Okay, now I’ve to do, like, observe their actual Instagram technique.
So I hope that this may possibly assist you to begin to discover if you may be trying to others actions, and giving them credit score for the outcomes they’ve, as a substitute of how they should be feeling and considering and to know that they’re not considering and feeling completely. And also you don’t must both, you’ll be able to create a very profitable enterprise with and that is one thing that Stacey Boehman, my coach says, like you’ll be able to have a very profitable enterprise with a half managed thoughts or one thing like that.
That’s I discover that basically liberating. And it’s one thing we discuss on a regular basis in PGSD, that it’s not all or nothing, that you must be like, you’re doing this excellent self teaching and ideal planning and all of these items and then you definately might be profitable otherwise you’re by no means going to make it. It’s actually about there being layers to that and that you just undoubtedly like my enterprise is such a terrific instance of that I’ve launched my perfectionism handbrake in so some ways, and I really feel like I’m unrecognizable to 10 years in the past by way of that.
And but, I nonetheless have work that I’m doing. And I’ve been capable of create a number of success in my enterprise, I really feel very fulfilled in what I’m doing. And on the identical time, like there’s a piece to do. And it’s such as you could be a work in progress. And the stuff you do can work on the identical time. It’s not both you’re absolutely completed with all of your rising and all of the stuff, you’re studying about enterprise and also you’re profitable, otherwise you’ve acquired issues to be taught and also you’re not profitable. It’s figuring out that constructing your enterprise in a method that feels best for you, is secure. It’s secure to do this. And that’s the primary message that I need you to have from this episode.
And there are such a lot of occasions that I’ve discovered myself , and this is the reason ought to the Instagram problem the instance doing precisely that when somebody is posting and the pictures they’re utilizing, the captions they’re writing the story technique they’re having considering like, Okay, I’ve to do those self same issues, as a substitute of fascinated about their enterprise mannequin and the way they give thought to themselves and the individuals which might be serving to and their provide, and all of these various things, after which fascinated about my enterprise in that very same sort of method, and creating my very own technique, the sport.
And it was actually like a superb instance of after I’m truly adopted, just about from the start. There’s been occasions the place it’s sort of wavered a tiny bit, I might say, however for probably the most half, this podcast, I’ve been so centered on what feels finest for me, even when different individuals who I like who make much more cash than me, who’re serving to extra individuals than me do it another way, the place they’ve. So say, for instance, in terms of a podcast, there are individuals who phrase for phrase, like write out a script, after which learn it off.
There are individuals who do 10 minute episodes or 20 minute episodes, there are individuals who solely do visitor interviews, there are such a lot of totally different variations, and so they all work. And so as a substitute of , okay, I say if you wish to begin a podcast. I’m going to begin a podcast and ship us one each week on a Monday. So Monday should be the very best day like no, I simply selected Monday. Prefer it’s all you recognize, they’re primarily like half-hour, I simply made up that point is like sort of what I’m fascinated about after I’m recording an episode. Nevertheless it’s not primarily based on something explicit, it doesn’t imply that, like, we are able to’t experiment with issues, and it’s primarily based on one thing.
However after we have a look at that simply been this sure method of doing issues and considering like that’s the one method for it to achieve success, particularly if we find yourself in a little bit of an echo chamber in terms of what we’re consuming. So possibly all the podcasts that you just take heed to do it in a sure method, or all the individuals you observe on Instagram, notably in your business do it a sure method. It may very well be that that sort of format is absolutely what resonates with you. Nevertheless it is also {that a} totally different format, a distinct method of doing issues is what feels finest.
And for me, like I’ve tried at totally different occasions, doing extra notes the place I’ll, I don’t suppose I’ve possibly have a timeline the place I’ve scripted in any respect. I don’t know if I’ve it hasn’t been for a protracted, like years. However I’ve tried various things I’ve experimented with what works for me. And what works for me finest at this cut-off date, is after I’m simply chatting, and I’m not overthinking it. And at occasions I’m even fascinated about like having to by way of the matters I discuss needing to ensure I’m overlaying newbie, not newbie issues however like foundational issues corresponding to perfectionism and the way that manifests and what that appears like.
After which in my thoughts, I’ve had a narrative about not desirous to spend, okay, spend an excessive amount of time sort of out on the branches of the tree and I must spend extra time on the trunk of the prepare simply even lately, I’ve needed to be like, possibly it’s okay, what I’m doing, and I can provide myself permission to simply document episodes on what I really feel known as to document episodes on and belief, that’s going to go to the individuals who want to listen to it on the proper time. And actually, you recognize, be one thing they wanted to listen to and that it’s most pleasing for me and to belief that it doesn’t should really feel like a slog for me for it to be helpful to another person.
And that after I discover that if I’m in my head about what matters to speak about, or having them be much less sort of me sharing my very own journey and extra like right here’s what you could do. Then it takes the enjoyable out of the podcast and figuring out that like we’re so programmed to suppose that the extra enjoyable for me, the much less beneficial it will likely be for the enterprise. And probably the most beneficial factor goes to be the actually exhausting factor that I don’t need to do and I feel like in PGSDers we do brave work, and never exhausting work.
And distinguishing brave work. Brave work a number of occasions is letting issues be straightforward, and giving ourselves permission to do it our method and giving ourselves permission to do it in only a tremendous flowy enjoyable method, even when our mind is screaming at us, that it must really feel tougher, and that we’d like to consider it extra earlier than we do it. And as I’ve shared earlier than, just about after each podcast episode I document, even now we’re properly over 300 episodes, my mind nonetheless has that chatter of like, that wasn’t ok, and all of that and simply ignoring that, like trusting myself sufficient to disregard these little moments of doubt that I’ve. And typically they’ve been massive moments of doubt, belief me.
However to belief myself sufficient that this manner can work. It’s to not say that if I didn’t learn, like if I learn off a script, and it was 20 minutes lengthy, or 10 minutes lengthy, and it had very clear factors or no matter, and I by no means went on a tangent, that would work too. For positive, it may work too. Or if I did an episode on daily basis, or if I did one episode a month, however like all of that would work, just like the other ways to make the blueberry muffin, all of them finish with a blueberry muffin. However that is the best way that basically feels most creatively fulfilling for me and to belief that that can be going to be of nice worth to you.
And it’s not okay, properly, it’s both what’s credibly fulfilling for me. And I’m keen to have a smaller enterprise due to it. It’s like this commerce off, am I placing these two issues in opposition. However as a substitute, it being that, what if being in inventive stream and trusting our inventive instincts is definitely what would have us have an even bigger, extra profitable enterprise, there’s not this commerce off, that we’ve to grapple with. Nevertheless it’s actually giving ourselves permission to do it in the best way that feels finest for us.
And to maintain doing that, even when like I’ve had individuals who likes in podcasts or reads, stuff happening tangents, you’re not being clear about your factors, and also you’re simply rambling on and all this stuff like, it’s simply, you’ll be able to have somebody instantly let you know like your method isn’t the best way. Your method isn’t good, or this, these episodes are too low, what are all of the various things, and particularly when these issues have been my insecurities, that it’s and I share earlier than after I had like the primary detrimental evaluations of the podcast as a result of it feels so me.
And this is the reason we need to do it different individuals’s method. As a result of after I was doing it my method, simply doing what I’m doing proper now, which is pulling out my microphone and chatting. And simply being myself that when somebody criticizes that it simply feels a lot extra shameful, than if I used to be doing like a scripted, or no matter model that didn’t really feel like me that would really feel so like another person.
Nevertheless it didn’t really feel like me to do this. Then it’s sort of like that buffer of a properly, you recognize, it’s probably not the best way I need to do the podcast anyway. So if somebody’s criticizing, it’s like, yeah, you recognize, that’s nice. However if you’re actually displaying up as your self and doing it the best way that feels finest for you, after we are criticize, and we will probably be, particularly because the enterprise grows, and that’s okay, when others when there are haters, and all that’s simply actually ceremony of passage.
However when that’s happening, it’s simpler to be in disgrace about it. And this is the reason self like in terms of our self discuss and disgrace resilient, and that’s one thing that we work on, as PGSDers, is figuring out that disgrace is a human emotion, we’re going to expertise it, there’s no strategy to keep away from it. However we might be with ourselves in that have of it in order that it isn’t one thing we’ve, it isn’t so painful to be in disgrace. We don’t find yourself on this very dramatic disgrace as properly that we’ve to go to all these lengths to keep away from it, which is absolutely what perfectionism is it’s a technique to keep away from disgrace.
And we sarcastically, really feel disgrace, a lot extra intensely. And we disgrace ourselves a lot when we’ve our perfectionism handbrake on, however doing that work in order that we are able to belief ourselves to really feel any feeling. And we are able to belief our future self and our current day self figuring out that we’re not going to steer ourselves astray. And figuring out that there are such a lot of other ways to get to our objectives that may work and why not do it in the best way that we need to do it, and that feels nice to us. And I need to hold saying like, sure, we’re gonna be taught issues from different individuals.
And we are able to nonetheless put our personal taste on it and our personal spin on it. And that doesn’t imply that from the very first day that you could try this. I coached a PGSDer on this that she was saying that for her content material that she was creating round her well being clinic, that she wished to ensure her content material felt distinctive and genuine. And she or he didn’t simply need to repeat issues that she had realized from the examine that she had completed. She wished to ensure it was actually true to her. And I used to be simply saying like, however how have you learnt but what’s true to you what’s genuine.
And going again to my blueberry muffin instance, to determine the way to make blueberry muffins in the best way that works for you. To begin with, that is I imply, there are some individuals who simply know, and so they can simply get the substances collectively. However for many of us, you discover a recipe, you observe it, you discover a recipe, you observe it once more. After which as you retain doing that, say possibly choose a recipe for muffins, you observe it like the primary thrice you’re simply following the recipe. After which possibly after that you just’re like, Okay, truly, I really feel prefer it’s a bit candy.
So I’m simply gonna see what occurs if I don’t put as a lot sugar in it. Or if I take the blueberries out, and I put choc chips in it, or if I take advantage of this almond flour as a substitute of plain flour, or no matter it’s, however to to start with, prefer it’s okay to be following the recipe, and to not have your individual genuine spin on it from the start. After which when you try this increasingly, then you’ll begin to determine okay, truly, it feels extra like me and extra aligned to what I need to do to do it this manner. After which ultimately you’ll be able to write your individual recipe.
And that’s actually, in terms of enterprise and perfectionism, particularly that not that there was anybody been like, right here’s the recipe for releasing your perfectionism, which is why an enormous purpose why PGSD exists, as a result of I didn’t even know this was all a factor. And I couldn’t discover anybody to assist me with it. So anyway, it was nonetheless like taking totally different items of, you recognize, different individuals’s recipes and making these after which attempting that after which my very own variations on that to ultimately the purpose now, we’re about 10 years into engaged on my perfectionism having coached lots of of individuals on theirs, that now I can share my very own recipe.
And that’s not the one strategy to do it. And in terms of in case you’re in a advertising program, that’s not the one strategy to do it. And it may be helpful to observe a recipe, particularly the start. After which being conscious that you just would possibly need to differ that and giving your self permission to do this. And yeah, I simply wished to share that as a result of there may be issues the place you’re like, I don’t even know what appears like the correct method.
That is the place it’s such as you choose one thing and also you strive it. And after I began this podcast, I had already been running a blog in my enterprise for like 4 years I had been what else had I been doing. I had been doing YouTube movies, I had been doing Snapchat, so much like chatting on Snapchat, and different issues like that. In order that by the point I acquired to doing my podcast, I knew what I appreciated, I knew the place I did my finest, which is after I’m not studying off a script or something like that.
I knew that the content material that I cherished the moist arms down. And there’s totally different sorts of content material for everybody. However I like lengthy kind. I like when somebody’s simply chatting if you actually really feel like they’re your buddy and also you get an perception into the behind the scenes and aren’t simply preaching at you. However they’re sharing with you their experiences. And there’s simply a lot consolation in that sort of content material for me like I like it. I realized from it probably the most. And that was a method that I wished to create. However I didn’t know that after I began my enterprise.
And if I had created a podcast after I began my weblog in 2013 which I like there was no method that was taking place. Like even simply beginning a weblog when nobody ever noticed my face I’ll have my voice felt like such an enormous factor. And that’s why it took me so lengthy to begin a podcast as a result of I simply thought like, I can’t have a pod… like all these individuals have podcasts. I’m nothing like them. They’re a lot… Like I didn’t have something to share this so a lot better than me extra skilled than me, I can’t similar to create my very own podcast. So it took me fairly some time to stand up the braveness to even begin a podcast. However by the point I did, I had found out for me what I resonated with probably the most.
And I had completed sufficient experimenting on different platforms to know that I can chat for a very long time, about all these things with no need any sort of notes, that I’ve actually given myself permission to document these with out enhancing. And there are a couple of individuals who influenced that like Tim Ferriss and Myleik Teele was in all probability the most important one, her podcast and some different ones like that, the place it was simply chatty. And I simply cherished them a lot. And acknowledge that possibly different individuals may love mine with an identical format.
However now there’s so many examples. Like they had been these examples, had been the least widespread ones. And in addition for me deciding, like, I wasn’t gonna have company on the podcast as a result of I like doing solo episodes. I like listening to solo episodes are most of any podcast, sure, a number of interviews. However for positive, if somebody has a solo episode versus an interview, I’ll at all times go for the solo episode. Just lately, we’ve been having extra company on the podcast for thus lengthy, like the primary 300 episodes, just about I didn’t have any company on the podcast.
And so it’s similar to trusting your individual instinct on it. Letting your self be taught from others and like observe a recipe from another person, in case you haven’t completed one thing earlier than, in case you’re new to one thing, or if you wish to be taught a brand new strategy to do it. After which when you’ve been following that recipe somewhat bit to begin to replicate on what variations really feel good to me with this, what I need to experiment with right here, to the purpose the place then in some unspecified time in the future, you may write your individual recipe not that you must, however you then find yourself with your individual method of doing it.
That may be a variation of all of the various things that you’ve realized earlier than, however can be your individual distinctive method. And once more, to wrap as much as underline it’s secure to belief your self, you aren’t going to steer your self astray or down a path that you just don’t need to. You possibly can at all times get again to the place you’re proper now. There’s nothing like, there’s so few issues you may do, that might damage your enterprise. Like after we’re in that every one or nothing considering.
It’s like, if I put one foot fallacious, then the whole lot’s ruined. It doesn’t truly work that method. Enterprise is simply experimenting, it’s trial and error had been all in case you didn’t notice it. We’re all making it up. None of us know absolutely what we’re doing. And but on the identical time, everyone knows what we’re doing. Each of these issues are true on the identical time. And so I need you to essentially soak into that, to begin recognizing that you recognize what to do, you’re nonetheless studying however you recognize sufficient.
It’s secure to belief your self. In case you’re doing that Q&A along with your future self, have them have your current day self reply, I feel is probably the most highly effective factor there. And to similar to when you have been, that is what I’ll simply converse in first particular person, that’s what I’ve been doing is that I’ll word with the podcast, I’ve been fairly nice with that by way of doing it the best way that feels finest to me although, as I mentioned, there are occasions the place I overthink totally different matters which might be random, no matter. However say with Instagram, for instance.
There are occasions the place I’m like, that is the best way I need to do it, this feels finest to me. After which I can discover myself simply getting like what others are doing and considering I must do it that method. And never trusting my method of doing it. After which I come again I’ve a breakthrough. It’s up to now I used to be journaling about this the opposite day, I by no means have a breakthrough of like, I simply want to repeat that particular person’s method of doing it. The breakthrough is at all times I must do it my method. After which there are occasions that I then am like, oh, I have a look at this.
And I feel Instagram, notably the rationale Instagram, in addition to a platform that will get talked about so much inside PGSD. I feel it actually like the best way it really works with the likes and the feedback and the engagement and that sort of factor is that it appears like a way more judgmental platform in a method for me that the podcast doesn’t and it’s simply the beliefs I’ve about it the story I’ve about it as a result of there are lots of people who’ve perfectionism round podcast episodes and I’ve undoubtedly had a few of that myself at occasions.
However with Instagram you get an immediate response with individuals liking issues or not liking issues with individuals commenting or not commenting with placing up a query field and nobody answering prefer it’s totally different to a podcast for instance, you simply get plenty of downloads, and that’s it. It’s not sort of all of those feedback and various things happening. So I’ve observed for me that I are likely to belief myself much less with that. And I’ve wanted to work extra actively on that. And that’s one thing that we’re engaged on behind the scenes in the intervening time.
On the time of recording this, by the point you’re listening to this, it’s in all probability began rolling out what we’re doing. However noticing, you recognize, simply how different individuals say, to do issues, otherwise you’re simply watching how they do issues and understand it’s okay, that you just may be sort of going forwards and backwards between the best way that feels proper to you, and then you definately see another person doing one thing, you copy that for a bit. And then you definately return to love, have a breakthrough about, “No, I’m simply gonna do it my method”. After which you end up once more, that’s okay. I’ve been there I’m there on a regular basis.
For it’s secure to belief your self to construct your enterprise your method, there are such a lot of ways in which work. And in PGSD, we’re actually all about doing it in a method that works for you that works on your way of life that works on your objectives that you’ve. You’re by no means doing one thing at your individual expense or existence expense. And in addition we do brave work. And that signifies that we do issues that we’ve resistance round which might be uncomfortable, however we’re not doing issues as a result of we must always do them.
We’re not overcomplicating, and doing that sort of factor. We’re doing the brave stuff, which is commonly extra occasions there not coming again to trusting ourselves. Doing it the simple method, doing it the easy method that often takes extra braveness. So in case you haven’t loved I mentioned that humorous, when you have loved this episode, please take a screenshot and tag me on Insta, I’m @perfectionismproject. I hope you’re having a good looking day and I’ll discuss to you within the subsequent episode.
Outro
If you’re able to get out of your individual method in your enterprise, I need to invite you inside my productiveness program for perfectionist entrepreneurs known as Perfectionist Getting Shit Achieved. Our subsequent enrollment is going on for one week solely starting on the 4th of April 2025. To seek out out extra about this system and be part of the waitlist, go to samlaurabrown.com/pgsd.
