“After which I noticed that to be seen by others, I first needed to be prepared to see myself.” ~Nameless
In a world that teaches us to be seen solely after we’re polished, productive, or pleasing, I discovered one thing surprising on the opposite aspect of my digital camera: myself.
However not the filtered model. Not the composed one or the “smiling as a result of I’m high-quality” model.
I discovered the particular person I’d forgotten—the one who had spent years loving, giving, displaying up for everybody else however hardly ever turning any of that tenderness inward.
I didn’t decide up the digital camera to take fairly photos. I picked it up as a result of I used to be afraid I’d disappeared.
I Didn’t Wish to Be Seen; I Wanted to See Myself
The thought of photographing myself didn’t come from a spot of self-importance. It got here from absence.
One night, whereas attempting to add pictures for a relationship profile after years of single parenting and heartbreak, I noticed I had no pictures that felt like me. Not the model of me who had weathered a lot. Not the model I used to be changing into.
So I quietly arrange a tripod. Brushed my hair off my face. Took a deep breath.
Click on.
The primary picture felt awkward. The second felt posed. However by the third, one thing shifted. I noticed a glimmer—not simply of who I had been, however of who I’d turn out to be.
This wasn’t about being photogenic. It was about presence.
Every Click on Grew to become a Quiet Homecoming
Quickly, I began photographing myself repeatedly. Alone. Unrushed.
Some days, I wore mascara. Different days, I didn’t even brush my hair. And a few days, I cried.
However on daily basis, I attempted to indicate up as truthfully as I might.
Slowly, I started to note issues I’d neglected for years:
- Power in my eyes
- Grace in my growing old palms
- Resilience in my stillness
They weren’t simply photos. They have been whispers. Visible love letters. A method of claiming, “I’m nonetheless right here.”
And I wasn’t invisible. I’d simply been wanting via the fallacious lens.
I Thought I Was Taking Photos, however I Was Truly Therapeutic
We dwell in a tradition that celebrates busyness and output. However it hardly ever teaches us methods to witness ourselves—particularly in stillness.
In these quiet moments behind the lens, my digital camera turned a delicate instructor. It held house for the model of me that didn’t all the time really feel put collectively. It didn’t ask me to smile. It didn’t decide. It simply noticed.
And in being seen—really seen, by my very own eyes—I started to heal.
My digital camera turned greater than a device. It turned a mirror. Not the sort that criticizes or compares, however the type that claims, “You’re allowed to take up house. Simply as you’re.”
Right here’s What I Discovered (and Hold Studying)
By way of this expertise, I discovered:
- I wasn’t invisible. I simply hadn’t checked out myself with curiosity in a very long time.
- I had appeared with judgment. With fatigue. With disgrace. However not with compassion.
- These weren’t selfies. They have been self-portraits—acts of reclamation.
- I didn’t should be lovely. I simply wanted to be trustworthy.
Every session turned a quiet act of insurrection—in opposition to perfectionism, in opposition to invisibility, in opposition to the strain to carry out.
And slowly, a reality emerged: I didn’t want to attend for a milestone to be worthy of consideration.
I didn’t want a metamorphosis. I wanted permission. Permission to see myself. Permission to say: That is me, now.
From Therapeutic to Serving to Others
Ultimately, one thing surprising occurred.
I started to share items of my story. And other people began reaching out.
- “I really feel like I’ve misplaced myself, too.”
- “I haven’t seen a photograph of myself I truly like in years.”
- “I don’t keep in mind the final time I felt comfy in entrance of a digital camera.”
So I began photographing others—not for branding or particular occasions, however for therapeutic.
In pure mild, in secure areas, we’d create photos that captured one thing greater than look.
We captured presence. Belonging. Fact.
One lady whispered after her session, “I really feel like I’ve come dwelling to myself.”
I knew precisely what she meant.
You Don’t Want a Particular Event to Be Seen
When you’ve ever felt such as you’ve gone slightly quiet inside…
When you’ve ever appeared within the mirror and puzzled if you stopped recognizing the particular person staring again…
When you’ve ever felt just like the world sees solely a fraction of who you actually are…
I need you to know this: you don’t want to attend.
You don’t have to lose ten kilos or acquire a promotion or begin a brand new relationship to turn out to be worthy of your individual gaze.
You already are.
So for those who’re feeling invisible, right here’s a delicate invitation:
Arrange your digital camera. Let the sunshine fall in your face. Be nonetheless. Click on.
The primary picture may really feel unusual. The second could really feel compelled.
However preserve going.
Ultimately, somebody will present up in that body. And after they do, you’ll keep in mind: you’ve been right here all alongside.
About Shannon Kathleen
Shannon Kathleen is a Minneapolis-based photographer who focuses on self-worth and on-line relationship portraits. After navigating years of single motherhood and quiet reinvention, she started a self-portrait observe that helped her reconnect along with her identification — not as a dad or mum, associate, or skilled, however as herself. She now helps others rediscover their confidence via the lens. Discover her reflections, mild assets, and images at shannonkathleenphotography.com
