Studying is one thing I’ve at all times liked however over the previous couple of years, I learn much less and fewer. Between constructing my enterprise and elevating little ones, I struggled to search out the time.
On this episode, I’m sharing how I lately received again into the behavior of studying despite the fact that I’m busier than ever. I discuss in regards to the function that perfectionism was enjoying, how I let go of my excuses and created an easy-to-stick-to studying behavior that didn’t contain any pressure or strain. This episode is stuffed with sensible recommendation so be sure you tune in at present.
To dive deeper: Need a straightforward strategy to discover out if perfectionism is stopping your corporation from rising? Take The Perfectionism Quiz at present – it’s free, takes lower than 3 minutes and provides you a personalised report that lays out the straightforward steps you may take to get out of your personal means. Take the quiz now at samlaurabrown.com/quiz.
For extra recommendation: Observe me on Instagram – I’m @perfectionismproject – for extra behind-the-scenes insights and assist with getting out of your personal means in your corporation.
For full assist: Able to get out of your personal means in your corporation? Be part of the waitlist for my productiveness program – Perfectionists Getting Shit Carried out (aka PGSD) – at samlaurabrown.com/pgsd. Inside PGSD you’ll grasp our easy, confirmed course of for getting shit executed with out burning out so you may lastly get your corporation off the bottom.
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FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
Introduction
Hello, and welcome to a different episode of The Perfectionism Challenge. A podcast filled with perfectionism recommendation for entrepreneurs. My title is Sam Laura Brown, I assist entrepreneurs launch their perfectionism handbrake, to allow them to get out of their very own means and construct a satisfying and worthwhile enterprise. I’m the founding father of the Perfectionists Getting Shit Carried out group teaching program, which is in any other case often called PGSD. And for much more perfectionism recommendation that will help you with your corporation, you may observe me on Instagram @perfectionismproject.
Sam Laura Brown (Intro to the episode)
I wanna do a fast intro for this episode as a result of this episode wasn’t really meant to be an episode. So I posted on Instagram just a few weeks in the past now; I’m @perfectionism undertaking, if you happen to aren’t following me there but. I posted about how I’ve been studying so many extra books and actually simply received over quite a lot of the justifications that I had about not having sufficient time as a result of I’ve little youngsters and all of that. And I requested if folks wished to listen to how I made that shift. And so many individuals stated sure.
So I used to be simply recording myself, speaking it out to get out of my head what the precise shifts had been. Like, how did I’m going from studying perhaps, like, one guide a 12 months, beginning just a few books, not ending them? Regardless that I like studying, I wasn’t doing it from a spot of ought to. Like, I like love love love studying books, and but that wasn’t being mirrored in my actions. And the way did I’m going from that to now recurrently ending books, having the ability to simply really feel like I can say in good conscience, sure.
I’m really a reader. I do learn books. So I wished to doc that a lot of it was associated to perfectionism that I had round studying and round time and various things like that. And so I hope it’s actually useful for me to only undergo what these shifts had been. If you happen to had been somebody who desires to be studying extra books, however you don’t wanna do it with the strain of, like, forcing your self to learn or, like, having to learn a sure variety of pages per day or, like, any of these issues, if you happen to simply wanna even have the need to learn and end up studying despite the fact that you’ve received a busy life, this episode is gonna be actually useful for you.
So we’re gonna clear it up a bit as a result of I used to be simply, like, chatting and saying no matter to only try to doc the concepts, however I hope you discover it actually useful.
Sam Laura Brown
So primary is that when it has come to, mainly, the choice to learn once more and to be dedicated to that and shifting out of I’ll do it if I’ve time and going into, like, I’m actively going to make time, and I’m prepared to resolve for something that’s despatched in the way in which of me having time for studying. I believe an enormous a part of it’s simply connecting again to and simply noticing even with, pals and issues like that. Simply usually, I actually have a robust identification round being a guide lover and somebody who reads books and loves books, and but I wasn’t really studying actually in any respect. And it could take me, like, six months to complete a guide if if I even learn one.
So I additionally was having quite a lot of perfectionism come up, which I’ll discuss particularly, however it was actually simply the need to do one thing that simply felt like me, and studying simply at all times feels very very like me it doesn’t matter what I’m studying. Usually, private improvement or fiction or no matter, I really feel extra linked with myself. I really feel very energized and, like, recharged by studying, and I simply actually have at all times loved studying books. So it began with that want. It wasn’t from a spot of ought to or, like, folks in like, with profitable companies learn this quantity per day or something like that.
Not that there’s something unsuitable with that, however for me, like, I’m not there’s something unsuitable with, like, introducing your self to studying if it’s one thing you’ve by no means executed however you wanna do extra of for no matter motive. However for me, the rationale was simply, like, having time doing one thing that felt like me and simply noticing even studying fifteen minutes a day had a dramatic affect on how linked with myself that I felt. Like, it simply felt like actually honoring one thing that was vital to me and prioritizing myself, and it didn’t must take a lot time to try this for me to really feel that means. So I simply actually, like, recommitted to studying books and never simply beginning them and perhaps ending them, however, like, I’m gonna begin studying. From that time, I then checked out actually diving into, like, what’s standing in the way in which of me studying And the place am I getting caught with studying?
Clearly, when you’ve gotten the generic, like, I don’t have sufficient time, that’s widespread to have. However, actually, it’s simply that I wasn’t making time, and I wasn’t making time due to just a few sure issues. One is that I hadn’t actually accessed the resourcefulness or permission to learn at sure occasions. So I used to be type of simply telling myself, I can solely learn my guide when the youngsters are napping or when Steve’s at work, and it’s not time for me and Steve to hang around, and it’s not time for me and the youngsters. However, additionally, one thing I seen was that I really need my youngsters to know me, and despite the fact that they’re nonetheless fairly little in the mean time, that I need them to see me doing issues I take pleasure in doing and never suppose that my hobbies are enjoying magnet tiles with them or pushing them on the swing.
Like, I additionally produce other issues I take pleasure in doing, they usually love studying, and I wanna, like, foster a love for studying in them. However, additionally, I simply need them to know me and to see what I take pleasure in doing and that I take pleasure in doing a number of totally different sorts of issues. So I wanted to mainly, like, redefine once I was allowed to learn and what that would seem like. So as a substitute of simply solely having the ability to learn throughout nap time, after which that was the one time I additionally had in my head to have the ability to train and to have the ability to do sure different issues, it simply felt a lot more durable. However once I was like, really, I can learn whereas they’re away, I can learn, like, in the event that they’re enjoying one thing, and now they’re at an age the place they will play collectively.
I’ve a virtually 4 12 months outdated and a twin two 12 months olds and a child different means. They’ll play collectively a bit extra as effectively. So it’s simply updating, like, really, I’m in a distinct season now with totally different circumstances, and my mind was type of pondering I nonetheless have basically, like, very small twins and a toddler, however I don’t anymore. So there’s that. Typically our mind simply doesn’t acknowledge we’re not in the identical circumstances that we as soon as had been in.
And it’s not that this wouldn’t have utilized then, however I believe there’s additionally simply energy in acknowledging that, circumstantially, I’m in a distinct state of affairs. So the story I’ve that I don’t have time for studying isn’t even when it was ever true, it’s not as true because it was circumstantially. So there was that too, however simply being like, I can really learn whereas the youngsters are enjoying. I can learn like, as a substitute of me hanging out with Zeep, I can learn. I can learn.
So we normally watch two episodes of Bluey earlier than mattress. I can learn whereas they’re watching Bluey. I don’t want to take a seat there and watch the identical episodes of Bluey I’ve already seen. And I can if I need, however I also can have that, like, fifteen minutes to only learn on the sofa subsequent to them. In order that’s already simply by studying as a substitute of watching with them, that’s already, like, over an hour of studying each week and only a set off for me as effectively that when it’s time, that’s once I’m studying.
So these issues actually helped simply opening up once I was allowed to learn, getting out of the mindset that I would like to have the ability to learn an enormous chunk of the guide, like, I would like the complete hour. And, additionally, like, the extra open you might be to seeing you don’t want that a lot time, if you happen to really report your self studying for an hour, like, that’s a really vital chunk of studying time. So what I are likely to do is a pair issues that assist with this. One is that if I can swing it and whether or not that’s if I get up early slightly than, like, fluffing round the home, I’ll learn my guide or various things like that. Like, there are pockets the place I’ve a extra vital time to learn if I’m ready for Steve to get house from work, however the youngsters are already in mattress, stuff like that, and simply being conscious.
I’m not gonna be scrolling or doing that, beginning to have the behavior of I’m gonna go to my guide. However having an even bigger chunk of time or, like, getting by the primary fifty or so pages as shortly as attainable is absolutely useful. If I’m not get right into a guide, like, I haven’t I’m nonetheless making an attempt to determine what the premise is, who the characters are, notably primarily studying fiction. So if I haven’t gotten, like, invested within the story, then it simply requires extra effort to go and decide up the guide. So I wish to try to get by the primary fifty pages as shortly as I can and actually take into consideration that fifty pages otherwise to the remainder of the guide.
And just like the tip of the guide, I received this from Cal Newport. He had just a few nice YouTube movies about easy methods to learn extra and the way he reads 5 books per 30 days and simply, like, how he thinks about studying. And one factor he stated was, like, having a bit of whenever you’re near ending the guide, doing a ultimate push to get it executed type of slightly than, like, chipping away on the finish. So if you happen to can, do an even bigger studying session to get it accomplished and see it over the ending line. And this isn’t like it’s a must to consider it this manner eternally, however simply, like, whilst you’re growing the habits.
However I discovered that actually useful to have that preliminary dive in after which additionally having a push on the finish of the guide to, simply preserve that momentum going as effectively. So there’s that. The opposite factor is that to actually simply get again into studying, I let go of any, like, that is what it is best to learn or, like, suggestions for books that I believe I’ll discover fascinating, however I don’t really really feel notably into studying. Then I kinda simply let go of that. I used to be like, I’m simply gonna learn no matter I really feel like.
And if that’s, like, tremendous simple mild books to learn, I’m gonna let myself learn that. I don’t must learn something too deep or, like, that requires a number of psychological power, particularly getting again into the behavior. I don’t wanna have books that require quite a lot of psychological power as a result of typically, like, I do must have a guide. And I discovered really having a few books on the go could be actually useful as a result of typically I’m actually having fun with the guide, however, really, I don’t I’m simply not within the temper for that type of guide. So, for instance, I used to be studying The Nightingale by Kristen Hannah, and I actually did take pleasure in, if that’s the suitable phrase for that type of guide, loved that guide.
However as a result of it’s such a heavy guide with the context of warfare and issues like that, that if I’d had a a very lengthy day with the youngsters or no matter, I simply didn’t really feel like studying a a like, an emotionally heavy guide. I wished one thing extra, like, mild and enjoyable to learn and, like, extra of an escape, so to talk. So I ended studying that guide and picked it up about six months later and completed it, however I believe simply having a, like, a lighter guide and a heavier guide, it doesn’t must be, like, a fiction and a nonfiction, however, like, one thing that’s simple to learn after which one thing that’s a bit, that you simply nonetheless have the need. It’s not from this place of, like, ought to or no matter, however it could possibly be a bit extra advanced or intricate or emotionally taxing that I simply discover that having a few books on the go is absolutely useful to have the ability to learn once I need to learn, however not be compelled to learn one thing I’m actually not within the temper for. So there’s that.
I additionally simply invested a while into really, like, getting, like, determining what I need to learn as a result of I discovered, like, once I had if I had time to learn, I wouldn’t as a result of I simply didn’t even know what I wished to learn as a result of I’d gotten so many various books. I had so many various suggestions, and I kinda felt like as effectively the much less I learn, the extra strain I felt to really learn one thing that was positively gonna be good, which is a perfectionist factor for positive. So what I did as a substitute, I simply was like, I’m going to restart my Goodreads and, like, really monitoring what I’m studying, and so I do know precisely what I’m studying and what I’m not studying. I had been utilizing Goodreads, however I had so many like, any guide basically that I’d began, I had put beneath studying. After which I discovered that I had, like, eight books that I used to be studying.
That’s too many to be clear about what I’m really studying. And, additionally, quite a lot of these books are like, I don’t even suppose I wanna end that guide. I there’s some perfectionist actually definitely, like, if as soon as they began, they really feel like they’ve to complete it, they usually gained’t permit themselves to do anything, however I’ve not been in that perfectionist thought sample. In the case of studying, I’m actually prepared to only cease studying a guide, even when there’s 50 pages left. If it’s shit, I’m simply not gonna end it.
And that’s I name that full. I don’t really feel any, like, unhealthy emotions about it. I’ll say on the 50 web page to go mark, I, like, wouldn’t normally make it to that time until it’s a good guide, however I’m simply prepared to be like, okay. That guide’s not for me or not for proper now, and I’m simply gonna name it full. So I went into Goodreads, and I really simply, like something that was half like, I’d began, however I actually didn’t even have the intention to complete.
I simply put again into, like, need to learn, and I simply left in my studying class. Like, I believe it was simply, like, one or two books I used to be really dedicated to ending. So a part of that was, once more, letting go, like, oh, however I ought to end it as a result of I began it. I technically am studying it or no matter. Identical to, really, what am I gonna what am I dedicated to ending if it’s good?
I simply let that be the brand new, like, having one or two books in my presently studying, or if I’ve three, there is likely to be a lighter guide, a heavier guide, after which an audiobook as effectively. So I had been telling myself a narrative that I didn’t like listening to fiction books on, like, the audiobooks as a result of it, like, I discovered that if I simply zoned out and since if I’m listening whereas I’m, like, driving or no matter, one thing such as you hear one thing, your mind simply wanders, and you then’re like, I don’t even know who I don’t even know what’s taking place on this guide anymore. And I listened to Harry Potter on audiobook. Superb. However, mainly, anything, I simply began telling myself this story that I can’t do fiction audiobooks.
And I’ve a guide membership with just a few pals, and we had been speaking about I used to be like, I’m really simply gonna, like, problem my considered that as a result of it’s feeling actually restrictive, and I would love to have the ability to learn not simply nonfiction on audiobooks, however fiction too. And so I learn a guide, Society of Lies, after which I learn what else was it? Challenge Hail Mary, I learn with the audiobook. And once I modified my ideas, like, really, I I take pleasure in studying fiction on an audiobook, I loved it. I might sustain.
Like, I didn’t select something loopy heavy, to learn or, like, requiring a number of focus. And that was actually nice too, simply having one other choice to learn, and I let that depend as a guide. In order that’s the opposite factor is that me perfectionist could be like, effectively, we now have these guidelines, and if it doesn’t meet the principles, it doesn’t depend. After which simply, like, discredit ourselves or preserve us other than the actions and identification that we wanna have simply due to some made up rule. Like, an audiobook doesn’t depend.
It needs to be, like, a bodily guide that I learn for it to depend. I’m not like there’s no guide police that I’m making an attempt to appease. Like, I simply really wanna learn and have like, I like the lengthy type of tales. And so I don’t see why I believe it depend or not depend. So I tracked them this in Goodreads the identical as I do a bodily guide as effectively.
And I like studying a mixture as a result of there’s quite a lot of occasions I like simply having a bodily guide. No. It’s, like, so low stimulus in comparison with screens and issues like that. I simply sit on the entrance deck tremendous good, doing that. And different occasions, like, whereas I’m driving, as a substitute of, like, listening to podcasts solely, it’s like, I really wanna hearken to a guide, and I try this.
So there’s that. Principally, the theme of that is simply, like, opening up all the principles that I had about what it needs to be like. So there’s that additionally simply, like, having the guide simply accessible. So, like, leaving it on the kitchen island or simply, like, out in plain sight was actually useful too simply so I had that further immediate to learn it. And, additionally and this isn’t, like, a revolutionary concept, however it was useful to listen to.
Cal Newport, once more, was the one who advisable this, however he simply stated about, like, having your personal little ritual or, like, making studying as satisfying as attainable. And so simply sitting out on my entrance deck and simply having a cup of tea or no matter or some music if I need to, however we now have a very stunning, like, outlook from our entrance deck that we dwell on acreage with a number of bushes. It mainly is sort of a treehouse whenever you’re on our entrance deck, and we now have this actually excessive vary ceiling, and it’s simply, like, I really feel surrounded by nature once I’m there. So doing that as effectively and simply, like, having little locations that I like studying, it’s primarily there or simply upon, like, wherever works if I’m taking care of the youngsters on the similar time. And I’m nonetheless clearly, I’m not, like, deep in studying if I’m additionally supervising them, enjoying in our pattern or issues like that.
However I can learn sufficient, and, yeah, I simply have allowed myself to try this and simply seeing how as effectively the extra I’ve executed that, the extra into studying they’ve been. Or like, mommy, right here’s your guide and issues like that, that it simply has been very nice to to see and to, like, permit myself to have hobbies and different issues I like doing whereas taking care of the youngsters and never, like, compartmentalizing. There’s issues I do once I’m with the youngsters, which is all about them. After which in my private time, so to talk, once they’re asleep or they’re utterly occupied or no matter, then I can do different issues. It’s similar to, really, I might love them to know me, and I might love them to see me doing that and to additionally encourage them to try this if they need or, like, ask me about what I’m feeding and issues like that.
In order that has been actually useful. And, yeah, I believe they’re the primary issues. Principally, I don’t have any set guidelines round, like, minimums. I don’t have like, it needs to be ten minutes a day or it needs to be fifteen minute 15 pages or one thing like that. And up to now, I discovered that type of factor could be useful at occasions.
And I do know that simply, like, if you happen to learn a 300 web page guide, for instance, 10 pages a day is one guide per 30 days. However what I wished to do is simply, like, let myself be in a rhythm with it, not have any strict expectations of, like, I’ve gotta end a guide each week or issues like that, however really having a similar to, I’m a reader, and which means I learn books. And I simply wanna circle again to one thing else that I stated earlier, which is about taking time to arrange Goodreads. So what I did once I did that, there’s quite a lot of guide YouTubers. I don’t actually observe anybody within the guide YouTube area, however I used to be like, I’m simply feeling caught.
So that is all, like, noticing the place the stuckness is and fixing it. And to me, that was ache with perfectionist ideas I used to resolve for and some sensible issues. And one in all them was, like, I don’t really know what I wanna learn or if I even did end this guide, what I’d learn subsequent, and I really feel prefer it’s kinda how I really feel with exhibits, so I might apply this there with TV exhibits that I’m going into this, like, guide limbo anytime I end a guide. So it’s basically like I’m punished for ending a guide as a result of I’ve to return into this guide limbo and be like, what do I wanna learn? So I simply went on YouTube and in addition listened to some totally different movies from folks about how they learn stuff like that.
Additionally, like, folks’s suggestions for particular books, and I simply received, like, sufficient suggestions that I might begin someplace after which go along with it additionally. And if I like an creator, I simply learn extra of their books. So I’ve learn three Sally Hepworth books. I learn, as I stated, The Nightingale by Kristen Hannah. Now I’m studying The Ladies, which I really received as a present perhaps two years in the past now, however simply hadn’t learn.
So issues like that. And, additionally, final thing I’ll say is that I’ve began going to the library once more, not only for the youngsters as a result of we’re going for the youngsters, but additionally for myself, and simply placing books on maintain, going and choosing them up, studying them. And never as a result of there’s a timeframe as a result of my library, it’s thirty days. It’s important to borrow it. And until it’s tremendous widespread, it simply auto renews after that.
So you continue to have, like, an excellent two months to learn it. So it’s not like every time strain or issues like that. However once I wasn’t studying a lot, it didn’t make sense to borrow a guide as a result of it could take me six months to complete. And, additionally, it was tremendous to purchase one new guide a 12 months for the for which is $15. However once I was like, I’m really wanting to actually be a prolific reader, like, have studying actually be one thing that I’m recurrently doing once more, it was like, effectively, I don’t need to purchase, like, spend, I don’t know, like, 50 to 100 {dollars} per per 30 days on fiction books.
I do want to purchase the nonfiction books. I’ve executed an episode means again, however my system’s nonetheless very related. For once I learn a nonfiction guide, like, highlighting it and tapping it primarily to only preserve me engaged. I don’t write guide evaluations of issues. I don’t, like, try to seize each perception.
I simply love, like, being engaged with a nonfiction guide in a sure means, and I nonetheless try this with nonfiction, so I’ll have a tendency to purchase nonfiction. However for fiction, I usually find yourself simply giving it to pals anyway who’re readers. Like, I actually like this, after which I don’t typically it comes again to me. Typically it doesn’t. I don’t actually care as a result of I’m unlikely to learn a fiction guide twice until it was an absolute standout.
However now that I’m studying much more, it simply doesn’t make sense to me to, like, accumulate that many books when it’s fiction. Nonfiction, I’m more likely to reread. And as I stated, I additionally, like, highlighted all of that, which you’ll’t do with a library guide with an excellent conscience. So I simply, like, rein basically, like, reinstated my in my head, my like, that I’m going to the library. Like, I’ll go once I’m there with the youngsters, I’ll go round and, like, browse, and that sounds leisurely.
It’s like a 3 minute whip round whereas whereas they’re contained whereas this meals was nonetheless prepared to take a seat within the prance, which they’re virtually almost grown out of utterly. However I’ll go take a look, and, like, I’ll look on Goodreads and simply see, like, what’s the vibe of this guide ideally above 4 stars. After which I’ll be like, cool. That’s ok, and I’ll learn that. So there’s that as effectively.
And simply, like, easy issues like this could really be such an enormous blow up, however, like, I didn’t know easy methods to log in to my account and put a guide on maintain. Regardless that it’s very primary, I simply, like, hadn’t executed that in, weeks a decade. So similar to, okay. I’m gonna click on round and, like, familiarize myself with how to try this in order that I do know that if I see a guide and I wanna learn it, however it’s not out there instantly, I can really put it on maintain. So simply sensible issues, however primarily mindset perfectionist stuff that simply had me feeling like like making it so laborious to do one thing that’s really quite simple.
And I simply wanna wrap up by saying if in case you have time to scroll, you’ve gotten time to learn. And, additionally, that is solely about, like, whether it is one thing you really wanna do. I don’t suppose everybody must learn. Don’t learn if you happen to don’t need to. However if you happen to’re somebody like me who desires to, if you happen to really feel linked with your self, for no matter motive whenever you learn, it’s value prioritizing, particularly if you happen to’re in a season the place you’ve gotten competing priorities.
It’s value prioritizing, and that can imply letting go of tales you’ve gotten and simply actually gaining self consciousness round what’s stopping you from studying, like, the particular issues, not only a normal, I don’t have sufficient time, however why particularly. And if you happen to did have an entire day to learn, would you really even be capable to try this, or would you get caught or waste that point or find yourself doing one thing else since you simply don’t have readability on what you’re studying or the place you’re gonna get it from, all these sure issues? So, yeah, I hope that may be very useful.
Outro
If you happen to take pleasure in this podcast, I like to recommend signing up for the waitlist for my program known as Perfectionists Getting Shit Carried out (aka PGSD). It is a program designed that will help you get out of your personal means in your corporation. You’re gonna learn to launch your perfectionism handbrake by setting a progress aim for your corporation, planning correctly as a perfectionist with Energy Planning and getting common guilt-free clear relaxation. You’ll study the talents required to get out of your personal means and be supported each step of the way in which to do it.
Whereas the doorways to PGSD are presently closed, they are going to be opening once more quickly. So to search out out extra about this system and be part of the waitlist at present, go to samlaurabrown.com/pgsd.
