I’ve been down some deep rabbit holes over the previous few years.
Once I discover one thing that sparks my curiosity, I turn out to be obsessive about studying all the things I can about it.
I’ve found issues like astrology, human design, David Kibbe’s type system, shade evaluation, and Ikigai, all of which have led me to a deeper understanding of myself and my private preferences.
I’ve had a-ha seconds after studying that my astrology placements can clarify my love for writing or that outsized, fashionable garments don’t work on me as a result of I’m a Gentle Basic in Kibbe’s type system.
These programs and labels may be useful as a result of they validate and ensure what we already find out about ourselves. They assist us title complicated ideas and supply parameters that cut back evaluation paralysis.
However there’s one drawback.
My curiosity in these programs and persona assessments begins as excited curiosity after which rapidly slips into an all-consuming must get all the things ‘proper.’ It’s straightforward for an curiosity to turn out to be an obsession (and because of Reddit, I do know I’m not the one one).
So are these programs really useful in the event that they trigger us to hyperfocus on making the ‘greatest’ or ‘proper’ resolution?
Immediately I’m sharing what I’ve realized from these programs, how we discover that means by means of them, and why I actually suppose we prefer to label ourselves.
The rise of containers and labels
Let’s begin by speaking about totally different programs and labels so that you perceive what I’m referring to.
Forewarning: after studying this, you might fall into a few of your individual rabbit holes.
Kibbe Physique Varieties
Launched within the Nineteen Eighties, David Kibbe’s type system is predicated on 13 picture identities. These identities aren’t associated to the standard fruit physique shapes (apple, pear, and many others.) however reasonably how proportionate you look, whether or not you’re extra angular or rounded, and the way tall or quick you appear.
The thought is to decorate in a means that enhances your pure options. Maybe you’ve at all times struggled to make clothes tendencies work, however you couldn’t determine why. Your Kibbe physique kind would possibly provide you with some clues.
You’ll be able to attempt to determine which kind you might be utilizing on-line quizzes, however solely David Kibbe himself can provide an correct typing. Due to this exclusivity, folks really feel they haven’t any selection however to find out their very own kind, and there are subreddits to assist folks determine it out.
It’s all good enjoyable once you’re getting began, however it will possibly rapidly turn out to be irritating once you don’t fall neatly into one class or get caught making an attempt to observe the rules.
Coloration Evaluation
Coloration evaluation (aka discovering your “greatest colours”) is one other system from the 80s that’s come again in full pressure. Are you a winter, summer time, spring, or autumn? Are you heat or cool, vibrant or muted, gentle or deep?
They are saying understanding your colours will show you how to look harmonious in your garments, and also you received’t must put on as a lot make-up as a result of the colours will do the give you the results you want (the truth that that is primarily focused at girls enhancing their seems to be is a subject for one more time).
The issue is that some folks fall neatly into these seasons and others don’t. I’m embarrassed to confess that I’ve thrown my cash at 5 totally different digital shade analysts solely to have all of them inform me I’m in numerous seasons.
I can hear you saying, “Simply put on the colours you want!” Sadly, my mind can’t appear to let me try this now that I find out about shade evaluation. The perfectionist in me desires an identical wardrobe.
Astrology
Astrology is a system that helps us perceive ourselves and others by means of the motion of the planets. Maybe it’s a generational factor or simply the bubble I’m in, however astrology appears much less taboo at this time than it was prior to now.
Astrology can provide you a greater understanding of who you might be and show you how to interpret your present part of life. You could know you’re a Leo, however have you learnt the place the moon was once you have been born and the way which will have an effect on your emotional wants? Or how about the place Mars at present is and the way which will have an effect on your motivation ranges?
Due to its potential to interpret future occasions, the quote goes: “Millionaires don’t have astrologers; billionaires do.”
Whereas astrology may be useful if you understand how to make use of it, utilizing it within the unsuitable means can create unfavorable stereotypes and generalizations.
Human Design
There’s one other system associated to astrology referred to as Human Design which will help you perceive how one can dwell your each day life with ease.
Relying in your kind, you’ll be able to decide whether or not the very best use of your power is to be an initiator of latest concepts (Manifestors), to be a workhorse and get issues performed (Turbines), to observe your many pursuits (Manifesting Generator), to be a information to others (Projectors), or to easily observe the world and replicate again what you study (Reflectors).
This one opened my eyes to the concept that our trendy world tells everybody they should be initiators and workhorses, but many individuals should not designed to make use of their power that means (maybe that is one motive why burnout and persistent fatigue are so prevalent at this time).
Why we put ourselves in containers
Possibly you’ve gone down the identical rabbit holes as I’ve, or maybe these programs have by no means piqued your curiosity.
Both means, we people prefer to put folks into containers even after we say we don’t.
The query I discover myself asking is: What am I REALLY looking for to know about myself by means of these programs?
For me, the enchantment is a set of parameters which have the potential to make my life simpler.
If I do know that I’m a sure physique kind within the Kibbe system and my shade season is True Autumn, perhaps I’ll waste much less cash on garments that don’t go well with me.
If I do know that I’m an INFJ within the Myers-Briggs Sort Indicator, I can really feel higher about my want for alone time.
Maybe all of that is to say that I’m a perfectionist who desires a algorithm to observe as a result of I believe that may make my life simpler.
However is looking for an out of doors system as an inner guidebook the way in which to go?
In an version of Oliver Burkeman’s publication titled ‘Programs vs. life’, he writes:
Many people yearn to discover a system or algorithm or life philosophy that might by some means dwell life for us, on our behalf, so that after we’d pledged allegiance to the rulebook, we wouldn’t must face the messiness and discomfort of truly exhibiting up, second after second.
If I actually dig deep, I would like these programs to offer me confidence in myself once I really feel unworthy.
Possibly if I observe the foundations and tips completely, I received’t must take care of any discomfort that makes me really feel self-conscious.
However life doesn’t work that means.
Turning into too reliant on an out of doors algorithm means we lose our private preferences within the seek for what’s proper or excellent.
The search for self-understanding shouldn’t turn out to be a pursuit of perfection.
Are these programs pointless?
So, if we are able to’t depend on these containers and programs to outline who we’re, does that imply they’re fully pointless?
I don’t suppose so. In spite of everything, they will help us make sense of the world and discover that means in summary methods.
It’s completely comprehensible to need a sense of that means in life since nobody desires to waste their time and power. However looking for the right system and making an attempt to observe it to a T would possibly finish in wasted time and power anyway.
A part of the enjoyable of life is seeing what involves us after we’re not pushing, not looking for solutions, and never making an attempt to make issues excellent. All it’s a must to do is ‘be’ – you’ll be you both means.
Ultimately, making an attempt to depend on any system apart from your individual inside understanding will lead you additional away from what you need and want.
Let your self include multitudes
Figuring out your persona traits or discovering your excellent colours isn’t essentially going to vary your life or provide the confidence you search.
There’s nothing unsuitable with utilizing these sorts of programs and labels; you simply must method them from a spot of curiosity reasonably than perfection. In the event that they’re not enjoyable anymore, it might be time to let go.
In case you really wish to really feel assured in your self, settle for you can be a number of issues directly. Be okay with being undefinable. Create your individual tips for all times as a substitute.
I write this as a message to you and to myself. It’s what I want to listen to to cease getting so caught up within the particulars.
