“Let’s get scuba licensed!”
My husband and I had been headed to an all-inclusive Caribbean resort, the place the advertisements present pleased {couples} frolicking on pristine seashores. Along with leisure (and limitless cocktails), our Curaçao resort provided a variety of water sports activities. We’ve loved snorkeling for years; scuba appeared like the subsequent step.
Meet my anxiousness
My anxiousness ranges from barely noticeable to operating my life. I’m additionally an A-plus catastrophizer, which is tremendous enjoyable as an outdoorsy individual. Climbing? Bear assaults. Swimming? Riptides. Typically I hold anxiousness out of the driving force’s seat however, spoiler alert, not this time.
Aside from just a few “What about sharks?” ideas, I approached my classes enthusiastically. However my anxiousness peeked out throughout the written coaching, which centered on what may go flawed underwater. I grew to become satisfied my eardrums would explode and I’d be run over by a ship. I ignored the trepidation.
Day 1
We had been paired with one other couple to finish our PADI open water certification in three days. The wheels began falling off throughout gear drills. I’m horrible at taking issues aside and placing them again collectively. Being the slowest and clumsiest made me really feel pressured and less-than. Though I appreciated our teacher, Corwin, we didn’t click on with the opposite couple. I felt like I used to be slowing everybody down—in all probability true—and that my classmates had been aggravated—perhaps true.
Within the water, I used to be afraid to breathe via the regulator. Bodily, the whole lot was working wonderful. I used to be getting air, however I couldn’t convey myself to belief the gear sufficient to remain submerged for 5 minutes, our first milestone. I’ve by no means had bother respiration via a snorkel masks and didn’t count on this a part of diving to be a “gotcha.”
Then, the whole lot clicked. My anxiousness vanished. I had gills! We sailed via our drills and ended the day with a magical reef dive.
Jill: 1, Anxiousness: 0.

Day 2
I wolfed down breakfast and bounced to the dive middle. I bumbled via my gear test, closely counting on the buddy system (aka my mechanically gifted husband) to get my gear assembled. I pranced into the water—properly, as near prancing as one can get carrying a 38-pound oxygen tank.
I used to be a diver.
Corwin defined we had a battery of expertise to grasp earlier than our afternoon dive. I freaked out throughout an train the place I needed to disconnect my air hose underwater, hook up with my buddy’s air and alter my buoyancy to ascend. I couldn’t bear in mind the steps and panicked, preventing my husband as he tried to assist me. My mind knew I used to be close to the floor, seconds from air, however my physique shifted to struggle mode.
Corwin determined to maneuver ahead with the opposite couple’s certification and cease us the place we had been. Though he was type, it tasted like failure.
The way it ended
I acquired a scuba diving certification versus an open water certification, and, sure, I’ve a card in my pockets to show it. The primary variations are that I need to dive with a PADI-certified teacher and I’m restricted to 40 toes, in comparison with 60 toes for open water. Actually, I envision my future dives as resort or cruise ship excursions, the place a licensed teacher is already current.
After a break to regroup, it was time to board the dive boat. I stepped off the boat into the deep water, identical to within the motion pictures.

I’m a diver.
I noticed every kind of marine life, together with a moray eel, which was surprisingly unscary contemplating how a lot the one within the Chicago aquarium terrified me. I apologized to my husband for “ruining our trip.” Along with being a catastrophizer, I’m a fan of drama, and he assured me he was A-OK with the place we landed.
The underwater stillness is the other of anxiety-inducing. I used to be snug with my respiration and leaned into being a spectator on this submerged world.
What specialists say
In case you’re interested by spending a part of your trip taking diving classes at a Sandals and fear about anxiousness hindering you, the franchise is conversant in dealing with divers with anxiousness, supplied they disclose it. Ahem.
Sandals Director of Watersports and PADI-certified course director Michael Clarke recommends not being afraid to be clear together with your teacher. “That approach, we are able to provide the additional consideration you would possibly want and go at a tempo that feels snug,” he explains. He additionally recommends pre-dive meditation or respiration workout routines to quiet the nerves.
Licensed psychologist and writer Ashley Smith explains anxiousness as our built-in risk detection system that appears for something that would hurt us. “Each time we’re inside our consolation zone, doing the identical issues we’ve at all times achieved, anxiousness will get to relax out. It is aware of what to anticipate and that we’re secure.”
She suggests useful methods for catastrophizers like me, akin to treating anxiousness like a spam name you don’t reply. One other is countering anxiousness with logic. When asking “What if?”, attempt responding with “Am I mixing up attainable with possible?” or contemplate what recommendation you’d give a buddy in your sneakers.
Zero regrets
I typically dream of being pleased underwater, which I imagine is an indication that diving will convey me future pleasure.
As Smith says, “The purpose isn’t to manage or do away with anxiousness,” Nevertheless, “in the event you refuse to be uncomfortable or let anxiousness name the pictures or make your choices, your world goes to be very small.”
I’ll attempt to make use of that mindset subsequent time. There might be a subsequent time.
As a result of I’m a diver.
† PADI: Skilled Affiliation of Diving Instructors.
† SCUBA: Self-contained underwater respiration equipment.
Picture by Jag_cz/Shutterstock