On this episode, I’m sharing the surprising adjustments I’ve made to how I work – and why I’m making them now, after years of getting extra structured work hours.
I speak about why my standard work construction (that helped me a lot) began feeling restrictive, the facility of creating aligned updates to routines which have served you effectively and what to contemplate in the event you’re getting into a brand new season of life or enterprise.
To dive deeper: Need a simple method to discover out if perfectionism is stopping your corporation from rising? Take The Perfectionism Quiz right now – it’s free, takes lower than 3 minutes and offers you a personalised report that lays out the straightforward steps you’ll be able to take to get out of your personal means. Take the quiz now at samlaurabrown.com/quiz.
For extra recommendation: Observe me on Instagram – I’m @perfectionismproject – for extra behind-the-scenes insights and help with getting out of your personal means in your corporation.
For full help: Able to get out of your personal means in your corporation? Be a part of the waitlist for my productiveness program – Perfectionists Getting Shit Performed (aka PGSD) – at samlaurabrown.com/pgsd. Inside PGSD you’ll grasp our easy, confirmed course of for getting shit carried out with out burning out so you’ll be able to lastly get your corporation off the bottom.
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FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
Introduction
Hello, and welcome to a different episode of The Perfectionism Mission. A podcast stuffed with perfectionism recommendation for entrepreneurs. My title is Sam Laura Brown, I assist entrepreneurs launch their perfectionism handbrake, to allow them to get out of their very own means and construct a satisfying and worthwhile enterprise. I’m the founding father of the Perfectionists Getting Shit Performed group teaching program, which is in any other case often called PGSD. And for much more perfectionism recommendation that can assist you with your corporation, you’ll be able to comply with me on Instagram @perfectionismproject.
Sam Laura Brown
In right now’s episode, I’m gonna be sharing a few of the adjustments that I’m actually stunned to be making to my very own work schedule. So my work schedule, only for context, for the final 4 years, I’d say, really, most likely even 5 years earlier than I had my daughter Lydia, who’s nearly 4, I began lowering my variety of workdays although I’m full time in my enterprise. I make a full time revenue from my enterprise that and I had the flexibility to be working seven days every week if I needed to be. However I simply actually seen that for myself, being able and the will to work twenty 4 seven didn’t imply that I ought to and that I used to be really way more productive after I had loads of constraint round my work hours in order that I then wanted to be taught prioritization. I wanted to learn to get shit carried out inside that.
I might really get loads of clear relaxation, all of these various things. So my work schedule for the final good few years has been three days every week. There have been some variations in that, which I speak about on this episode. However three work days per week has been what I’ve carried out. And I’ve beloved having the boundaries round that and being clearly on or off, and I’m making adjustments to that.
So on this episode, I’m sharing why. I hope you discover it actually useful and insightful. Okay. So I simply really feel known as to select up my microphone and speak about this. I’m undecided precisely how this may find yourself being delivered, however I simply needed to catch seize my present uncooked within the technique of it figuring all of it out ideas as I feel it’ll be useful to hearken to and to simply hear how they develop.
So what I’m fascinated about in the intervening time is de facto shifting the way in which that I work or, like, the parameters round how I work. And this has been actually born from being in a excessive place of self belief that has been one thing that I’ve been actively engaged on constructing for the final 12 months after feeling like I made selections and simply, like, acted in a means with myself that depleted my self belief, that I’ve now carried out a complete lot of issues, and there’ll be episodes on all of this. I’ll be educating this for positive. Imperfection is getting shit carried out, in addition to my one on one teaching and this system that then emerges from that as effectively. However all of that apart, the self belief constructing course of apart, I’m now in a spot the place I’m working from, I’d say, the best diploma of self belief that I’ve ever been in with my enterprise, most likely in my life as effectively.
And in addition simply desirous to I used to be like, simply feeling a a shift in life seasons. In order it at the moment stands, after I’m recording this, I’m thirty six weeks pregnant with child quantity 4, and I’m already a mother of three, as you’ll be able to guess, in the event you didn’t know. If I’m as much as child quantity 4, meaning I’ve three. So I’ve an nearly 4 12 months outdated, twin two 12 months outdated, after which this child. And so I’ve been in a season of motherhood, having infants, etcetera.
However I really feel like this, mainly, like, I’ve talked about this with the twins that it felt like such an id disaster after I went from being a mother of 1 to a mother of three and that it actually known as in to query how I did the whole lot in my life as a result of the whole lot I couldn’t simply do something actually on autopilot earlier than, like, with how I used to be doing it earlier than. I couldn’t simply pop my child within the provider and exit. I now had two infants, and I simply needed to function very in a different way with that. And it has simply felt like, basically, a two 12 months interval of rebirth and, like, reinvention and determining all these various things. And so it looks like having this fourth child is, like, clicking in so lots of these, id shifts that started most likely way back, a few of them, however actually that I really feel like during the last two years, issues have been falling aside, not in a nasty means.
Like, simply to have that actual id shift in reinvention, you need to let go of the way you used to do some issues or how you considered issues or, like, you need to have there be issues that not work in order that you determine a greater method to do it or a extra aligned means. So hope that is smart. Anyway, so I’ve been in that technique of figuring that out and simply, like, being on that journey. And the place I’m at now, and this got here up a few weeks in the past now after I decided about mat depart. I had simply been feeling like telling myself I must have an outlined interval the place I’m not allowed to work.
It simply felt very restrictive, like I used to be having my palms tied behind my again on my own, and I didn’t even have the will to have that plan. And it didn’t make sense additionally based mostly on how I operated with my earlier two postpartum durations that I had the will to work. I had the mind capability to work. Sure. I used to be very sleep disadvantaged, however I additionally had a lot capability as effectively.
And so it’s completely different for everybody. However for me, what it appeared like was having that need to work, having a lot of impressed concepts, simply, like, actually being in that point the place I’m desirous to work, and I used to be simply, like, telling myself I’m not allowed to simply as a result of people who find themselves staff in a job don’t do it. So I shouldn’t mainly, telling myself I shouldn’t wish to work when really I do. So I decided to not have an outlined mat depart interval, to not have an outlined, like, wrap up date or restart date, whether or not it’s every week after start or three months after start or a 12 months after start to simply really be like, I belief myself to work after I wish to work and to not burn myself out. I haven’t burnt out now in fairly numerous years.
I actually belief myself to have the ability to navigate it and to try this in a extremely self supportive means. I even have loads of helps in place as effectively with that form of factor in order that I really feel like I’m not alone in figuring that out. Like, I’ve a life coach. I’ve a enterprise coach as effectively. Like, I’ve locations to show after I’m like, wait.
I I can’t see clearly proper now. Like, what like, are you able to assist pull out the knowledge for me on this factor? So, anyway, with that call, what that has opened up is, okay. How do I really wish to work on this season of life in enterprise? It’s not one measurement matches all.
And, additionally, I feel there’s, like, completely different seasons in your private growth. So for me, for instance, having strict, for lack of higher phrases, or, like, boundaried work time actually supported me to unravel for the precise downside when my mind simply informed me the issue just isn’t having sufficient time. So notably in 2023 after I felt like I used to be combating issues, I used to be like, I want extra time. I want extra time. I don’t have sufficient capability.
After which I labored, like, an additional day for various the week, so I usually work three days. I labored a fourth day, However I might simply inform I wasn’t really making nice use of that point, that it might take me as a substitute of having the ability to file 5 episodes in a day, which might be my standard if I’m having a podcast recording day, I’d file one episode and rerecord and rerecord. And I simply was like, I do know I’m not really like, time just isn’t the difficulty right here. So, so there’s that. And being boundaried with my time actually helped me remedy for that kind of lack of time is the issue.
You’re chilly, honey? Yeah. Yeah? Do you wanna get your self a blanket? Okay.
Go seize a blanket, hon. Lydia’s simply saying she’s chilly. So it actually felt supportive, and it was supportive to have boundaries round work time and clear relaxation, to develop out my hobbies, to, not eat enterprise stuff on a regular basis, like, to undergo fairly an prolonged interval, many months, not less than at this level, six months of, like, not listening to any enterprise podcast in my time, not working. I’m, like, simply actually growing out the remainder of my life much more and my id to go lots additional than work. And I really feel like now that I’ve carried out loads of that work, that having such the identical form of boundaries doesn’t really feel as supportive because it did and likewise due to the upper degree of self belief.
It in the end looks like I can now as a result of I I understand how to get actually top quality clear relaxation. Even after I’m taking care of my children, I understand how to modify my mind off. I understand how to actually prioritize my duties and initiatives and what I’m engaged on in order that the work time I’ve strikes the enterprise ahead. I understand how to create a way of completeness even when the whole lot isn’t carried out in order that I’m not like, oh, no. I simply want to complete this, after which I’ll be capable of relaxation.
I understand how to deliberately create that sense of completeness. I understand how to establish the bottlenecks and the needle movers and what’s most vital. And a lot of that has been realized by way of having clear boundaries round after I’m working and after I’m not and sticking to these boundaries and fixing for issues inside that somewhat than simply including extra time from the thought that lack of time is an issue or if, like, I might simply if solely I might work twenty 4 seven, like, considering that that might assist it. Like, I might simply inform that that was the expansion I wanted in that season, and now I really feel like I’m actually in a season of leaning into much more so the self belief of getting it’s not even flexibility as a result of what works very well for me, like, I don’t love being like, I’m gonna get to this two hours of labor sooner or later throughout the weekend, and I don’t know when. Although perhaps over time, simply having the ability to be in that might be an excellent place for me to be mentally.
However at the moment, I simply nonetheless love having determined forward of time, like, okay. I’m planning to try this whereas the twins are napping on Saturday In order that the remainder of the time, I’m not like, when will I try this, etcetera. So there may be space for development there, like, room for development. However I need to have the ability to not really feel like, effectively, if I’m working exterior of my standard hours, then I’m doing it unsuitable. And at the moment, the strictness I’ve round it does make it really feel like that as a substitute of being like, I belief myself to work after I wish to work, and there’s additionally no rush.
I’ve carried out a lot work, a lot, like, emotional capability work. I did all types of various work to actually not be in a rush to construct my enterprise, to not be in a rush to get issues carried out, to note after I’m bodily in a rush, like, feeling it in my chest, slowing myself down, zooming out, seeing the large image, I do know that after I’m doing issues in a rush, it solely creates a large number that takes extra time to scrub up than if I simply gradual myself down, zoom out, bear in mind the larger image, determine issues from a peaceful, grounded place, and all of that. So what I’m desirous to do now’s to have the ability to work after I wish to work. And it clearly, like, it’s fairly a easy factor to do. I simply work after I wanna work.
That’s what I what I’m gonna be doing. There’s no, like, massive plan I want round that. However, additionally, it’s a actual shift in how I’ve been working and fascinated about myself and my id and self picture and, like, simply having the ability to be like, I can really do what like, I can submit one thing on Instagram, and however then I’m not then spending like, I don’t have this psychological tab open of, like, I wanna test again or no matter. Like, I simply am in a position to work in the way in which that I usually work, however with a lot of completely different, at a lot of completely different instances of day or, like, issues like that, if that is smart. So I’m simply kinda, like, eradicating the construction and doing so in a means that will increase self belief.
I feel there’ll be a studying curve or, like, only a a self consciousness time that I’ll particularly with my energy planning, I’ll nonetheless undoubtedly be energy planning. It very a lot helps versatile construction in this sort of means of working. So I might be utilizing that basically in such a strong method to replicate on what’s working for me and when are these instances that, performing some work is coming from a spot of self belief, or is it coming from rush or issues like that. So, I’m gonna be doing that, and I’m simply form of, like, determining what I wish to do. It does really feel like untying my palms from behind my again, which I did a complete episode on that idea.
And it has been so highly effective for me in my very own life to establish that feeling of, like, basically pointless restriction when I’m making a rule. And generally as in on this case, the rule supported me very well in a sure season of enterprise life private growth. And now that rule simply feels a bit outdated, that it wants an replace to really replicate the place I’m at the moment at and what my present work is. And so I don’t wanna have that rigidity of like, effectively, this labored so effectively for me final 12 months to assume this manner, so it ought to nonetheless work now. Like, really, I’m a really completely different human now to this time final 12 months.
And simply because that was what I wanted then isn’t doesn’t imply that’s what I want proper now. In order that’s what I’m as much as. And a giant a part of this has simply been, like, permitting myself to file issues with out even figuring out which particular podcast episode it will likely be for for if it’ll ever even be revealed or issues like that to simply really let issues stream by way of me. So that’s what I’m doing with recording this. I simply felt known as to select up my microphone and speak about it.
So, yeah, I’m simply within the center or, like, even simply at first phases of beginning to be like right now, for instance, I had a buddy come over this morning. We had a catch up. I Steve is working, so I’m taking care of the youngsters. The twins are at the moment asleep. They nonetheless have, like, a two, two and a half hour fairly stable like, their stable nappers nap.
Lily is awake, and she or he doesn’t have naps anymore. And she or he was in right here earlier than, like, coloring in issues like that whereas I used to be doing stuff. She’s at the moment watching TV. She’s watching some Blippi on YouTube on the TV. And simply having the ability to be like, I can really work on a non workday and if I wish to.
And right now, I used to be like, I would like to try this. And, additionally, that I’ve the capability to try this. As I discussed, I’m thirty six weeks pregnant, and I additionally really must get an iron infusion, which might be occurring very quickly. My to not get into the weeds, however my ferritin is low. My, like, hemoglobin or no matter is regular, and I’m not feeling tremendous drained.
However, additionally, like, my physique has a big a big child inside it that I’m nonetheless rising lots every week. And so it’s simple to be within the story of, like, no. I undoubtedly must nap or, like, not even nap. I haven’t been napping just lately. However I undoubtedly must, like, have a really restful time whereas the twins are asleep in order that I’ve power for the afternoon to really change my ideas to extend my capability.
So being within the ideas of, really, I can work, and I can have that work energize me and have much more power within the afternoon work and doing this. Even when I’m making selections or doing issues that require psychological power, this isn’t depleting me for the afternoon. That is really energizing me. And so I’ve simply been doing loads of work on capability and rising my capability by way of altering my considering and different issues as effectively, however primarily altering my considering. And so I simply discovered myself earlier than this been like, I wanna work, then do I must, like, take it simple?
I’m like, no. I can really simply work in a extremely energizing means, and that’s energizing for me. Like, the story that work is energizing for me is de facto supportive, and it’s not my complete life. And and it’s to not say it’s unsuitable for anybody who’s like, and it’s my complete life, and I really like that. However for me, I’ve children that I wanna spend time with, a husband I wanna spend time with, associates I wanna spend time with, house initiatives that I actually wanna be doing.
It’s only one side of my life, and it’s a side of my life that energizes me. And simply because it energizes me doesn’t imply I wanna do it the entire time. However, additionally, I can do it after I wish to do it, and that may most likely look fairly completely different to how different individuals may do it. And I’ll have my very own work rhythms and issues like that that different individuals won’t perceive or they could fully perceive, but it surely’s not going to look most likely like becoming right into a 9 to 5 state of affairs. And it’s simply gonna seem like the way it appears to be like for me.
And so with the mat depart determination, that took loads of self belief as effectively to be like, I’m really gonna determine one thing that I haven’t actually seen anybody, not less than in my private life, determine. And the identical with this and as effectively, like, I simply wanna wrap up by saying being keen to replace your method is so highly effective as a result of it might be really easy for me to be like, oh, no. I actually train, like, having these boundaried work hours and clear relaxation, however I’m not within the season the place I’m studying these classes, that these issues are there to show. And I deeply consider in that philosophy and that method when somebody is needing to be taught the teachings that these issues train. However then sooner or later, you’re not needing to be taught these classes anymore, and it’s good to replace the method to meet up with the place you at the moment are.
And I see this as effectively as a result of PGSD is lifetime entry, that we now have loads of PGSDers who’ve been in PGSD for 2 years or three years, they usually’re nonetheless actively engaged locally. However, additionally, they’ll then be making use of issues. Like, they’ve already gotten the results of PGSD way back. They’ve already been in a position to be getting shit carried out with out burning out and know they’re not good at productiveness. However they’ve, like, they have such an unbelievable transformation, however then they simply stored making use of issues that have been not, like, with out updating them, that have been not serving them for the place they’re at the moment and reflecting that they’ve really grown and advanced.
And that is a part of why I began doing the one on one teaching and I’m growing out the factor to come back subsequent after PGSD as a result of I simply seen as effectively, particularly as perfectionists, have been like, oh, no. Till I’ve fully mastered the entire fundamentals, I can’t really transfer on. Like, you need to really enable your self to graduate even if you’re not good at it. Like, I’m not good on the boundaried work hours. I’m fairly rattling good, however I’m undoubtedly not good at it.
However, additionally, on this season, that isn’t the method that’s most going to serve me, and it’s time to be taught a brand new method as a result of I’m not needing these classes anymore. I’ve realized mentally switching off and the clear relaxation and never believing my mind after I assume I simply want extra time. And I’m not altering my work construction as a result of I want extra time to work. I’m actually altering it to help the life-style that I wanna have and the season that I’m in. And in addition within the enterprise, like, I’m simply having fun with as a substitute of working three days three full days after which having 4 days doing nothing work associated.
I’m loving this, like and I did this again at first. It was, like, touching your purpose on daily basis, like, doing one thing associated to what you’re engaged on in your corporation. So for me, that was, like, earlier than I went to my full time accounting job, I’d be, engaged on my enterprise for, like, an hour within the morning. I wakened very early to suit that in. I wakened at, like, 4AM, do, like, an hour on my enterprise, my weblog, after which I’d additionally go to the health club and I’d catch the practice at, like, quarter previous seven to enter town and do my full time accounting job.
And since simply I had realized as effectively, that is a part of, like, reflection, that I had realized that if I attempted to get shit carried out on the finish of the day, I simply really like, my mind was a lot extra drained from working all day. And, additionally, I needed to hang around with Steve. Like, there was different issues I needed to do, and it simply felt like an uphill battle as a substitute of, effectively, really, I might simply get up within the morning, do one thing for myself earlier than I do one thing for my boss on the accounting agency. I might do one thing for myself. I might contact my purpose on daily basis.
So it was like actually creating that id that I’ve a enterprise. I’ve a enterprise that’s gonna achieve success. I’ve a enterprise I’m dedicated to. And so it’s nearly like a return to that in a way as a result of I’ve actually simply been on this, like, creating momentum for the final six months. And I’m actually in a season of, like, I’d simply actually get pleasure from having the ability to do like, to consider the enterprise on daily basis, however not for the entire day.
However to have that on daily basis somewhat than have three longer chunks on my three work days after which nothing on the opposite day. So it’s simply in the end updating it to replicate the place I’m at the moment at, and it’s actually vital to simply discover for your self if you end up in that, and, like, the approaches you’re taking to issues. Like, am I needing the teachings that this factor particularly is right here to show? As a result of I as I stated, I nonetheless wholeheartedly consider within the energy of actually boundaried work hours and clear relaxation if you don’t wish to have clear relaxation. That’s for somebody who’s, like who doesn’t but perceive the facility of fresh relaxation, who’s simply working on a regular basis as a result of that’s their complete id, they usually really feel responsible once they’re not relaxation they’re not working.
They really feel responsible once they’re not being productive. They’re working from a spot of I’m behind, and I must catch up. If that’s you, you do must have some, like, construction there so that you just don’t simply work on a regular basis and hold perpetuating these ideas. However then after you have really cleaned up the way you do issues within the sense of, like, you’re in a position to have clear relaxation, the place you’re not feeling responsible, the place you’re not feeling or working from a spot of being behind and always attempting to catch up, and I ought to already achieve success by now. And, like, in that entitlement if you’re really simply within the place the place you’ll be able to relaxation and take time without work, You don’t really feel responsible about it.
You’re comfortable to simply not be in a rush with your corporation. Like, it’s such a strong place to be. While you’re in that place, then it’s like, okay. Now that you’ve got realized how you can function in these boundaries and solved for the thought that I simply want extra time. Like, in the event you nonetheless consider I simply want extra time and that might remedy my issues, having that basically boundaried method that we train in PGFC, so vital.
As a result of including extra time will solely make you extra drained and extra pissed off as a result of lack of time just isn’t the difficulty. So that you’ve gotta really try this work. And I’ve carried out that work effectively and actually. Once I actually needed so as to add extra time, I didn’t let myself as a result of I needed to unravel for the precise downside, and now I’ve solved for that with the mindset and emotional work. Now it’s like taking the boundaries off and or taking them away.
And it makes me take into consideration we didn’t really do that with the twins, as a result of we had Lydia once they got here. However when Lydia was what’s the phrase? An toddler? Principally, when she was beginning to be taught to crawl and we hadn’t but child proofed the home. And in addition, we needed to have the ability to, like, go and, like, be within the kitchen and never have her, like, crawl up into all completely different locations.
We had the playpen up, fairly a giant one, however we had a playpen up in our lounge, which was the boundary for her to be in. After which, clearly, sooner or later, we stated, like, okay. She doesn’t want this boundary anymore, and so we’re going to take away the playpen. And we didn’t even have one with the twins as a result of by then, a, we already had a way more child proofed home as a result of we have already got Lydia undergo all of it. Plus, additionally, Lydia couldn’t go over the playpen, so it simply meant if we had that, it might create an excessive amount of separation and simply not be sensible.
So, once more, updating issues of not simply effectively, as a result of we did this with Lydia, we now have to do that with the twins of, like, what really is smart now to do? And I can select one thing completely different to what I selected earlier than. Sure, Lydia? Yeah? We don’t have any apples, honey.
You’ll be able to have a mandarin or a banana. Plum. Or a plum. Yeah? Okay.
I’ll come reduce it up for you in two minutes. So anyway, it’s about what makes essentially the most sense now within the season that I’m in, and I’m keen to make a distinct determination to what I made earlier than in comparable seeming circumstances and even precisely the identical circumstances. And particularly after you have elevated your self belief, doesn’t need to be good, however after you have elevated it, then you’ll be able to have much less boundaries with if you do sure issues and if you don’t. And it’s simply actually tuning into, like, what actually helps you and what like, I really like that idea of untying your palms behind your again as a result of it’s actually about, like, the place am I unnecessarily or unhelpfully limiting myself, and what determination can I make now in order that I’m not feeling that? So, for instance, in that, I talked about with the PGSD launches that in 2022, we had, like we simply have PGSD open for enrollment for and that’s the one factor we’re promoting.
We don’t promote anything. We don’t promote one on one teaching although individuals have been asking for that. We solely promote perfectionist getting shit carried out. We do 4 launches a 12 months. We ended up doing a launch in December proper earlier than, I’ve my twins.
However we now have one 1 / 4. I deliberate out all of the dates firstly of the 12 months of 2022, and I needed to unravel for how you can launch like, how you can actually remedy for how you can have these launches have us obtain our purpose. And I did like, I made a lot progress that 12 months from having that method. After which in 2023, once we have been in a distinct state of affairs, I used to be like, effectively, we nonetheless must solely have PGSD launches and solely have them as soon as 1 / 4. And the circumstances have been completely different, and it meant, really, what would serve the enterprise is having the ability to promote different issues if we needed to and likewise not having to have it’s simply, like, as soon as 1 / 4 as a result of we had just a few launches.
And I’ve carried out, like, launch debrief recap episodes on these so you’ll be able to go and discover them. However we had just a few launches that underperformed, after which it simply put extra stress as a result of we stored that very same determination. It simply put extra stress on the subsequent launch, and that was twelve weeks away. So then we had no income no new income coming in, like, no risk of that even occurring for twelve extra weeks. After which due to the stress that was on that, then that additionally underperformed.
After which it simply, like, was on this cycle. And so in 2024, I’m positive that is what I talked about in that episode, I used to be like, really, we’re not simply doing it that means anymore. We want an up to date determination. And so then entered this era of, like, fixing for what’s that call, and that was so highly effective. So it simply looks like that with this of, like, this was a extremely useful method to method work.
And now I’m really in a distinct state of affairs and fixing for various issues and have completely different classes to be taught. And I’d say for me now, the lesson to be taught is how you can work every time I wish to. And, clearly, generally it takes group as a result of I’ve children and since I’ve different commitments and issues like that. So generally I would wish to work and it’s simply not sensible or issues like that. However, additionally, how like, mainly, I’m simply considering again to what I used to be saying.
So with the like, what lesson I’m studying is how you can work every time I need whereas sustaining being mentally switched off after I’m not working or not desirous to work and never having it simply seep into all of my mind house. I really feel fairly quietly assured with that that the teachings I’ve realized about mentally switching off, I can apply even with much less boundaried work hours. However I feel there’ll nonetheless be some determining of that, some teaching and self teaching and all of that. However I’m actually excited to simply be like, I’m now fixing for this and simply I do know from, like, the teachings I realized from having such a boundary method that I can coach in such a strong means when somebody’s like, I simply want extra time. They’re like, yeah.
You may want extra time, however let’s examine x y z first to really see in the event you want extra time as a result of our brains simply love to provide us that one. If I simply had extra time, if I simply didn’t have children, if I simply didn’t have this well being subject, if I simply didn’t have a full time job, like, oh my god. Like, for me, having my full time job, I used to be absolutely within the I simply didn’t have a full time job story. After which I left my full time job and went to a distinct half time job that required lots much less psychological power as effectively. And I simply productively procrastinated for 5 months as a result of the total time job wasn’t the issue.
The issue was my perfectionist fears that had me getting in my very own means, they usually didn’t go after I left the total time job. So, anyway, there’s so many classes I really feel like I’ve realized alongside the way in which of various seasons of life and enterprise and private growth, and this simply looks like that subsequent season for me. And actually simply having the ability to be like, I’m really, like, proudly owning the id of I’m really not somebody who simply follows the foundations and does what everybody else does, and I’m keen to experiment with so many alternative approaches as effectively inside my very own life. But additionally, the Matly one notably was identical to, I’m not seeing anybody else do that. And as a substitute of me being like, effectively, I ought to do what everybody else does although I’m not an worker, although I can work from my sofa whereas having a contact nap and, like, having my child sleeping on my chest, although I really like my work and lots of people don’t, although it energizes me and all these various things that I’m not really in the identical place as individuals who usually wish to have a sure form of mat depart, I’m really simply permitting myself to make the choice I wanna make.
It was simply so good telling Steve, he’s like, effectively, yeah, after all. It is smart so that you can simply belief your self and work if you need. Like, you we all know you’re gonna work anyway. Like, you’re keen on doing that. You like constructing your corporation.
And I don’t see like, he was like, your mind nonetheless works if you’re postpartum. Like, why why would you not enable your self to work if that’s what you wanna do? I used to be like, sure. Thanks. That’s precisely what I’m considering.
And simply telling considered one of my actually good associates, she was like, yeah. In fact. Like, you don’t do what everybody else is doing, and I really like that you just’re simply deciding what really works for you and doing that. And I used to be speaking with one other considered one of my good associates right now, and she or he is an worker, however she’s in a extremely excessive place within the firm that she’s in. She has a lot capability.
Like, she’s so unbelievable at what she does. And we have been simply speaking about for her state of affairs and having children sooner or later and simply, like, the judgment that comes from deciding to not have a mat depart or to have a shorter mat depart than the 12 months, which is typical right here in Australia. And simply how a lot stress there may be, simply not even, like, intentional stress, however simply how a lot expectation there may be and judgment basically of, like, in case your mat depart doesn’t seem like this, then it both means you’re a nasty mother or no matter and simply, like, we really and that is I’m saying this since you most likely want to listen to it, that if you wish to create a brand new regular for, like, how it will likely be in case you are a dad or mum in your personal children sooner or later, like and all of that and to have your kids not have the identical form of, societal judgment or stress or no matter, then it’s good to be keen to be a trailblazer and to be an instance of doing it in a different way, which suggests it’s good to be keen to be misunderstood as a result of by, like, the very advantage of what you’re doing, you’re doing one thing in a different way to how the usual is.
And most of the people might be like, wait. Why are you doing it like that when everybody else does it like this? And so it doesn’t imply you need to inform everybody about what you’re doing and that anytime anybody asks you what your determination is, you need to inform them the reality about it and get into the weeds and have pointless debates. However simply to really be by way of your life an instance of what it appears to be like love to do issues the way in which you wish to do it and to do issues within the non typical means is such a present for therefore many different individuals who do want somebody to go quick. They do want an instance.
Or additionally future generations who want the wave of individuals to come back within the technology earlier than them who’re keen to be misunderstood, who’re keen to be judged for doing it in a different way, for doing it in a means that made extra sense. That’s what really creates change. And so we’re simply speaking about, like yeah. Like, in the event you in the event you’re going to go towards the norm. And, like, we wish to try this as a result of in any other case, if we’re going with the norm however not really wanting to try this it’s completely different if you wish to try this.
However in the event you don’t wish to try this, then you definately we’re simply perpetuating that norm by appearing in accordance with it once we don’t have the will to try this. And I really like simply having the ability to be an instance of, like, you’ll be able to really work whereas having your fourth child and do it with out burning out and do it with out being solely targeted in your work and that’s your complete life. Like, I wanna be an am, I feel, an instance of what it will possibly look love to do each, and I’m not good at that. And that’s a part of it. I’m not meant to be good at it.
It’s by way of the entire distinction of expertise, by way of the entire the teachings and the instances which are actually arduous and the instances which are simple and all of that that the teachings come and that the instance is fashioned. So, yeah, that’s the place I’m at at the moment with what I’m fascinated about. It’s felt so good too to even simply be like, I’m simply gonna file an episode, which I used to be really gonna file for ten minutes and have this I used to be considering, like, it may very well be a part of a compilation episode. However I really feel like that is most likely simply an episode in and of itself, and I don’t need to publish it. I would by no means publish it, however, additionally, I most likely will.
And simply permitting myself to be like, if I simply really feel known as to talk on a subject as a result of it’s high of thoughts for me, I don’t have any notes. You may most likely inform. I don’t have any notes in any way for this episode. I’m simply sharing the place I’m at and what I’m engaged on and hope that by doing that, it offers you permission. It offers you simply extra self perception, extra reference to your self and what’s true for you by me connecting with myself and what’s true for me and expressing that.
So that’s my hope. That’s my want with my podcast, with PGSD, with my one on one teaching, with all the choices I’ve made and issues like that. And at all times, I really feel like I’ve simply been saying slash considering this lots recently due to conversations I’ve had. It’s by no means about, like, right here’s a choice that Sam made or another person made, so I ought to do the identical factor. That considering just isn’t how we wanna be considering as entrepreneurs or simply people usually as a result of it’s simple to take a look at, like, a mentor you may have or a coach or a buddy and be like, oh, I ought to make the identical determination.
Even with me with the mat depart after I’d first determined to have three months, that it was , like, effectively, different individuals determined this determination, so I ought to make the identical. As an alternative of, like, wait. What was their determination making course of, and the way can I apply that course of? And after I apply that very same course of, I get a really completely different consequence as a result of I’m in a really completely different circumstance with a distinct mindset and completely different values and various things like that. So it’s like all of this and something that you just come throughout ever is like, who’s this recommendation for?
What context is that this in? And in addition the individual giving this, what stage of life or enterprise or private growth are they in or are they speaking about or speaking to? And in addition, what’s their determination making course of? So for instance, for this, the choice making course of is, okay, if I trusted myself, what determination would I make versus what’s the best determination or what’s everybody else doing? So with that stated, Lydia is looking, so I’m gonna wrap up.
However I hope you’re having an exquisite day, and I’ll speak to you within the subsequent episode.
Outro
When you get pleasure from this podcast, I like to recommend signing up for the waitlist for my program known as Perfectionists Getting Shit Performed (aka PGSD). This can be a program designed that can assist you get out of your personal means in your corporation. You’re gonna learn to launch your perfectionism handbrake by setting a development purpose for your corporation, planning correctly as a perfectionist with Energy Planning and getting common guilt-free clear relaxation. You’ll be taught the talents required to get out of your personal means and be supported each step of the way in which to do it.
Whereas the doorways to PGSD are at the moment closed, they are going to be opening once more quickly. So to search out out extra about this system and be a part of the waitlist right now, go to samlaurabrown.com/pgsd.
