“Nearly every thing will work once more if you happen to unplug it for a couple of minutes, together with you.” ~Anne Lamott
I used to imagine that success meant at all times being accessible. At all times saying sure. At all times responding instantly to emails, Slack pings, texts, no matter was thrown my means. As a result of if I ended—even for a second—I would fall behind. And if I wasn’t working more durable than everybody else, was I even working exhausting sufficient?
For years, that mindset labored. Or so I assumed. Each win, each promotion, each new milestone felt like including gas to the fireplace. The extra I ‘succeeded’ by society’s requirements—the title, the profession, the monetary stability—the extra I pushed myself to do extra, to be extra.
My perfectionism kicked in, too. I didn’t simply wish to succeed; I wished to be good at every thing—profession, management, motherhood, marriage, friendships. And I by no means eliminated something from my plate—I simply stored stacking it greater.
I climbed the company ladder, turned the primary feminine VP in a 300-person advertising org at a Fortune 500 firm, and checked each success field that ought to have made me really feel completed. However as an alternative of feeling fulfilled, I felt… empty. Exhausted. Like I used to be working on fumes however too scared to cease.
After which in the future, my physique gave me no selection however to cease. It wasn’t a sluggish fade or a warning signal I may ignore—it was like somebody pulled the plug. I went from a high-functioning overachiever to somebody who couldn’t even kind a sentence with out feeling mentally drained.
Not simply stress. Not simply exhaustion. A full-body, full-brain shutdown. Emails didn’t make sense. Conversations felt like static. I couldn’t course of ideas.
My mind hit the off change, and I didn’t know the right way to flip it again on. I sat at my desk, gazing my display, and for the primary time in my life, I bodily couldn’t push via.
That second scared me greater than something.
5 years earlier than my full breakdown, I had already been on a collision course. In that brief span of time, I turned a mom, obtained promoted to director, took on extra groups and obligations, misplaced my sister and grandmother, and moved into a brand new home—which promptly caught fireplace.
However I nonetheless stored pushing, nonetheless stored performing, as a result of slowing down wasn’t an choice. Till my physique made it one.
I bear in mind sitting in my automotive after work, gripping the steering wheel, staring blankly forward. I had nothing left.
It wasn’t simply exhaustion; it was one thing deeper, one thing that made me really feel like I had misplaced management over my very own thoughts and physique. I had constructed my whole id on being productive, on being the go-to individual, the one who at all times delivered.
However now I had nothing left to provide. And I had no thought the right way to repair it.
What I Discovered from My Breaking Level
However how did I get to that time?
How did I’m going from thriving on the hustle to fully shutting down?
Wanting again, the indicators had been all there—I simply ignored them.
The late nights, the skipped meals, the creeping exhaustion I stored disregarding as ‘simply a part of the job.’ My physique had been warning me for years, and I didn’t hear. Till I had no selection.
That breaking level compelled me to ask myself one thing I had spent my complete life avoiding:
What am I chasing, and at what price?
Right here’s what lastly made me understand I couldn’t preserve going like this (and what I want I had discovered earlier than I hit all-time low):
1. Relaxation isn’t a reward. It’s a requirement.
For the longest time, I assumed sleeping extra would repair every thing. I watched a MasterClass with Dr. Matt Walker (a sleep knowledgeable) and discovered all about chronotypes—morning larks vs. evening owls. I knew I used to be a morning lark, so I figured, Nice, I’ll simply get to mattress earlier, and that ought to do it!
Besides, it didn’t.
I’d lie there at evening, my physique nonetheless, however my mind working marathons.
- Did I give my kiddo his medicine?
- Did somebody feed the canine?
- Is my group member feeling higher after being out sick?
- Crap, I forgot to maneuver the laundry. Now I’ve two selections: go away it and cope with the stink tomorrow, or drag myself away from bed to repair it.
That’s once I realized that relaxation isn’t nearly sleep. It’s about giving your thoughts and physique an actual reset.
I discovered that once I hung out in my backyard, I had extra endurance with others.
I picked up crocheting for the primary time in twenty-five years, making beanies like my life trusted it. They had been cute—and it introduced me a peace I hadn’t felt in years.
I began enjoying board video games with my youngsters, laughing across the desk as an alternative of dashing them to mattress simply so I may bounce again on-line and “get forward.”
For years, I handled parenting like a duty (which, to be truthful, it’s), however I by no means simply let time be. Every thing had been a activity to finish, a schedule to comply with. However slowing down, being current, laughing with my household—THAT felt like true relaxation.
Relaxation isn’t nearly stopping. It’s about resetting in a means that truly fuels you.
2. Ambition and stability can co-exist.
Let’s be actual—I’m nonetheless a piece in progress with regards to boundaries. However one of many greatest shifts I made was realizing that every thing in life is a season.
I used to overthink each choice. Saying no felt heavy, like I used to be closing a door without end. However as soon as I began pondering in seasons, every thing modified.
- As an alternative of “no,” I began saying “not proper now.” This made boundaries really feel lighter and simpler to stay to.
- I obtained clear on my non-negotiables. If one thing crammed my cup, it obtained precedence time. If one thing drained me? It was time to let it go.
For years, I used to be the type of chief who mentioned issues like “I help your choice” when somebody wanted day without work—however the undertone was at all times “however we actually want you right here.” The unstated stress to overwork was actual.
Now, I construct my life round individuals who encourage me to put money into myself—not simply help it, however push me to do it. And that makes all of the distinction.
3. If stopping feels scary, that’s an indication it is advisable cease.
I used to be terrified to decelerate. I had constructed my whole repute on:
✔ At all times being accessible (Praised!)
✔ At all times performing on the high (Praised!)
✔ Residing each side of hustle tradition (Praised!).
It was my id. So, if I ended… who even was I?
What if I had labored my butt off for nothing?
What if folks stopped seeing me as “profitable”—would they assume I used to be a failure?
I’m nonetheless on this transition, and truthfully, it’s nonetheless scary. However leaning into the unknown is a part of redefining success. That’s what makes it really feel much less terrifying.
I used to imagine success = standing, energy, cash.
Now, I see success as one thing greater—well being, pleasure, presence.
And whereas I gained’t faux it’s straightforward, I can let you know this: it’s value it.
What This Means for You
In case you’re studying this, questioning why—regardless of all of your effort—you continue to really feel exhausted, caught, or empty… I get it. I’ve sat in that very same place, working on fumes, satisfied that pushing more durable was the reply. Nevertheless it’s not. It by no means was.
You don’t have to interrupt earlier than you begin making modifications. Small shifts—pausing, setting boundaries, rethinking what success really means—can prevent from ever reaching that breaking level.
Take the break now. Reclaim your power now. Redefine success now. As a result of the life you need isn’t ready in your subsequent achievement—it’s ready on you to cease working lengthy sufficient to really stay it.
About Kris Licata
Kris Licata is a former company chief who is aware of firsthand how hustle tradition disguises itself as ambition. Now, she helps high-achievers break away from burnout and redefine success on their very own phrases. Because the founding father of Break & Bloom, she creates experiences that assist overachievers reset via creativity, connection, and humor—as a result of success ought to gas you, not drain you. Comply with her journey and get actual, relatable insights at krislicata.com.
